It seems crazy to be writing this. I mean, just a few months ago I never would’ve imagined that my witty sign at a protest would land me the best comedy writing job in the business. But here we are.
It all started at the Women’s March. Not the big one, but the one this year that no one went hard at. I went with a group of my female friends (needless to say, I am a strong male feminist who surrounds himself with strong women to appear even stronger.) Before the march, we all agreed to come up with funny slogans that we could write on bright yellow poster boards from Michaels. After brainstorming ideas all week I finally settled on the sign that would eventually change my life. It said, “More Like Commander in Beef” and had a picture of Donald Trump’s head on a cow’s body. It was absolutely hilarious.
Everyone at the march came up to me and told me how amazing they thought my sign was. I heard such praise as, “wow how did you come up with that?” and, “Oh I get it. Cause he’s a cow.” and, “Wait, aren’t you that guy that called my friend a bitch cause she didn’t sleep with you last week?” I couldn’t believe how much everyone liked it.
Needless to say it went viral, ending up on every Buzzfeed list showcasing the best protest signs of all-time. It seemed surreal to have something I wrote be seen by so many people. I finally knew what it must’ve felt like for Mark Twain to see everyone reading Tom Sawyer. Every day was a rush. It seemed like things couldn’t get any better.
It wasn’t long after the initial success that I received a call from Lorne Michaels, the esteemed producer of the esteemed Saturday Night Live. He said that he had seen my sign and just knew I had the kind of knack for comedy writing that would make me a perfect addition to his staff. And just like that I started work at one of the most highly regarded comedy institutions in America.
Some days I do feel bad taking all the credit. My friend is the one who drew the cow with Trump’s head, but if it weren’t for my solid gold pun she would’ve never been inspired to draw the picture in the first place. So really I don’t have anything to be ashamed of.
I love working at SNL, and I know I am writing amazing sketches every week. So far reviews have been great. One reviewer wrote on Twitter, “I mean I know SNL hasn’t been funny in years, but they must be desperate if they’re hiring this guy.” And another said, “I thought SNL couldn’t get any worse, but I guess I was wrong.” It seems like people really love my sketches. My last one to make it to air was about an octopus that grabs everyone’s pussies and the octopus is wearing a Donald Trump wig. I think they’re gonna send it to the Emmy voters this year.
I am always so grateful that I get to work at one of the best shows on TV, and all because of a simple poster at a protest meant to fight sexism. I really have never felt prouder to be a feminist.