We here at The International English Language Rhyming Association (IELRA) are very pleased to announce that we have decreed numerous new words now officially rhyme with “world.” We don’t usually bother ourselves with lowly matters such as music, especially country music, but after almost a decade of what you all call “Bro Country,” which as far as we can tell just means more beer and less respect for women, we decided to jump in. No one wants to be picturing a little girl when full grown men are singing about the women they are hoping to sleep with. Because, as we all know, “girl” is literally defined as a “female child.” Yikes!
The following list is a compilation of words that now rhyme with “world,” so lyrics like, “Yeah, you up and took my whole world, and made it so good, girl” feel more powerful than they do demeaning. Because don’t we all just want to be able to turn on the radio without cringing?
Woman: An ADULT human female. A small alteration, but it makes all the difference. Variations could include: Woman of my dreams, full-grown woman, powerful woman, etc.
Lady: A more respectful term that keeps the southern charm.
Wife: If you have been married for more that five years isn’t it time you stop calling her a country girl, while also asking if she could shake it for you?
Mother: As in, of my children, and not in the creepy way the vice president uses it.
Breadwinner: Let’s be honest, if you aren’t a straight white male, country music is a tough industry, and even then, it can still take a long time to break in. Maybe you could write a song for the woman who supported you for years, instead of commenting on how her body reminds you of a dirty old backroad.
Partner: As in an equal, someone you should show respect to, even if you don’t understand why summing up a strong, smart, and beautiful woman as “girl” is condescending.
Occupation: Honestly, just describing what she does on a day to day basis would be better at this point.
Description: Describing her in detail is always a good start, and no, we don’t mean talking about her “jeans with the tear that her momma never fixed” or her “blue jeans painted on tight.” Try to think outside of her clothes. Maybe focus on her brain, or her humor, or heck, how she makes you feel.
Person: You guys know women usually have whole personalities, right?
We here at the IELRA understand that this will probably come as a shock to you, but women don’t like being referred to as “baby girl,” “honey,” and “sweetie,” at least not exclusively. Hopefully this list inspires you to think of women as we do, as people. We look forward to listening to your newly written songs. And no, we still haven’t found any words that rhyme with “orange.”