The Perfect Bath and Body Works Lotions to Say “I’m Fucking Your Son Like a Maniac”

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Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

It’s the Holiday season, a time to come together with family and friends and (yikes!) meet the parents. You want to make the right impression on your new beau’s family. You can brag all day about how you graduated cum laude, but what’s a more subtle way to bring cum to mind? An artfully wrapped bath and body works lotion that will simply scream to your future mother in law “I’m fucking your son like he owes me specifically 8,000 dollars.”

  1. Warm Vanilla Sugar- This holiday classic will remind Mrs. Brown of sugar cookies, Christmases gone by, and the fact that you called her son “daddy” at least 25 times in her house.
  2. Champagne Toast-A fun scent that’s reminiscent of bubbly new year’s eves, like the party you were at last year where you literally threw up all over her son’s dick in the bathroom! Pass the eggnog, Mrs. B!
  3. Japanese Cherry Blossom-This sophisticated, sensual aroma simply screams “I’m a cultured woman!” Just like the time you fucked her son in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant while he held your take out! You’re a woman of the world!
  4. Cucumber Melon-This retired fragrance will remind his mom of the 90s when her son was nary but a young boy, full of hope for the future. How happy she’ll be when she realizes that his hope has been fulfilled, by finding a woman who never shies away from period sex! Sorry about all that blood in the guest room!
  5. Paris Amour-Romantic and flowery, every time your lover’s mom puts this on, she’ll think of Europe! And, the fact that you did coke off her son’s dick in Montreal! It’s kind of like Europe!

Happy Holidays!

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