Tired of getting ghosted? Date one of these sexy ghosts instead. Here are five undead bachelors you’ll want to swipe right on.
Sure, Chad looks like kind of a douchebag. He has that spiky, gelled up hair and his profile says that he wants to give you ‘some a deez nuts.’ But what you don’t know about Chad is that last summer, he was brutally murdered. Since then, he’s experienced what seems like an eternity of unrelenting mental anguish. His soul has been purified, and he’s ready for love.
CONS: Can’t stop talking about the ‘ring of fire.’
2. EDDIE MCDOWD
Were you thinking of curling up to die alone with your dog? Then this is the perfect guy for you.
Eddie McDowd is just a regular guy, trapped inside the body of a Corgi. He has the body of a lovable dog, but the intelligence of a sensitive man. Eddie was kind of a dick when he was alive, but he was returned to Earth so that he could repent for his sins by doing 10,000 good deeds. Unfortunately, due to a prematurely canceled TV show, he’s never found his eternal rest. He might make the perfect beau for some lucky lady. Just remember: a back massage counts as a good deed.
CONS: No opposable thumbs; slobber.
3. CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST
Casper is the friendliest ghost you’ll ever meet. He’s a real sweetheart. Sure, he has the body of a tiny boy, but mentally he’s over 70 years old. That means you get all the pros of dating an older, wiser man with none of the sexual pressure. Plus, after almost a century of being dead, he is lonely enough to listen to you talk about shoes.
CONS: Might kill you in your sleep so you can be “together forever.”
4. HOMER THE HAPPY GHOST
Ouch, you couldn’t even get a date with Casper? This Casper knock-off is almost as good as the real thing.
CONS: You might run into some copyright issues
5. GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT:
He’s sweet, romantic, and a thoughtful gift-giver. He sometimes lay a heavy guilt trip.
CONS: His buddy, the Ghost of Christmas Past, could use a bath. And his other friend, Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, is kind of a jerk.