
1000 friends- middle aged men from Nebraska
900 friends- accounts that only post screenshots of the Grim Reaper
500 friends- accounts that only post screenshots of tattooed women with unmanageably giant breasts
100 friends- bearded motorcyclists from Paramus, New Jersey
50 friends- accounts that only post stills from American Psycho
30 friends- European dentists
30 friends- male comics who you’ve never met but are down to collaborate
20 friends- uncles who you thought were dead
20 friends- dudes you jerked off in 2012
50 friends- self proclaimed leaders of the alt right
50 friends- sociopaths you met at UCB
50 friends- frat bros from college who’ve been arrested for possession but think it’s cool you do comedy
50 friends- massage therapists from Russia
50 friends- crew from an unpaid Webseries you did in 2014 about being a struggling actor in NYC
50 friends- all of your mother’s coworkers
20 friends- dudes you met on tinder who saw you do comedy one time and then ghosted you
10 friends- women you met on tinder who saw you do comedy one time and then ghosted you
10 friends- comedians you respect
10 friends- friends who you trust and love