By Taylor Garron

The American Kennel Club is proud to finally release the list of newly recognized breeds of dog for the new year. With canine genetic diversity at an all-time high and historical breeding conventions and practices becoming obsolete (with our sincerest apologies to the Pomsky), this year’s list was difficult to narrow down to just six. Here are the newcomers:

The Bloodletter

This new breed carries the exaggerated facial features of a Bloodhound, the athletic physicality of an Irish Setter, and a keen interest in 18th-century pseudoscience.

The Claire Dane

Although it bears a close resemblance to its more well-known relative the Great Dane, this breed is discrete due to its long, golden coat and undeniable star power.

French-Canadian Bulldog

Though not a true hybrid, we must begin to acknowledge this breed as distinct due to its slightly different bark accent.

The Goldendoooodle

A slight variation on our 2014 addition, the Goldendoodle, this breed is half goldendoodle and half poodle. Of course, Goldendoodledoodle sounded a bit absurd.

The Chomsky

Half-Chow Chow and half-Husky, the Chomsky is well-equipped for colder climates, especially thriving in temperate, anti-imperialist, anarcho-syndicalist environments.

All Cats With Dog-Like Personalities

In an effort to bridge the divide between dog and cat owners, the AKC is officially recognizing all cats whose owners insist are “just like a dog”. Unfortunately, we have not received word on whether The Cat Fanciers’ Association will extend the same courtesy, which is so typical of cat people.