Local Man Overanalyzes Interaction with Coat Check Person

The sidewalk running along the Hudson Hotel on 57th street was lined with beanie-clad twenty-somethings this Thursday, as LoanLi, a startup that makes it possible to adopt orphans online, had one of its bi-monthly parties. Dan Taylor, one of the company’s less popular employees, was particularly excited about the event.

“It’ll be an opportunity for everyone to get to know me I think,” Dan said, adding product to his hair in the company bathroom. “I’m pretty quiet at work, and I like to eat lunch alone, but parties are kind of where I shine. During the work day, it’s hard to show people that you’re actually a pretty cool guy.”

Arriving about 45 minutes after the invited time, as to not seem too eager, Dan saw the tone of night quickly change from hopeful to regretful, as he couldn’t help but review the interaction he had with the coat check people upon his arrival.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about it,” Said Gretchen Walters, Dan’s one friend in the office. “He said he had initially given them his coat, but then he realized it was also too hot for the hoodie he was wearing, so he wanted to get his coat back for a second to put the hoodie with the coat. I told him that was probably fine.”

When Dan allegedly approached the coat check booth in order to ask for his coat for a moment, he referred to it as “that orangey one right there”, and pointed to it. He later contemplated if pointing to the coat was rude, considering they had his ticket number already, or whether it was just making things more complicated than they needed to be. “I don’t remember who you’re talking about, we had a lot of people come through Thursday, they all seemed perfectly fine,” Said one of the people working in the coat check booth that night.

Upon his exit, Dan intended to leave a nice tip at the booth, in order to make up for any awkwardness throughout the day, but he only had a five dollar bill. “I asked them if they had any change,” Dan said. “That was really the nail in the coffin as far as I’m concerned. I just feel like I could have been less high maintenance y’know? Next time, I think I’m just gonna keep my jacket on, or carry it around with me.”

On Thursday night, Dan thought about the interactions he had with the coat check booth eleven more times, and began to wonder if people he interacts with during day to day life consider him to be a “down to earth person”. The Hudson Hotel has declined to comment on this matter.

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