Post-Apocalypses Rated From Worst to Best

By Rob Walker

man wearing suit inside the room
Photo by Heorhii Heorhiichuk on Pexels.com
  1. The recently deceased return to life to feast upon the flesh of the living, leaving humans to forage for food, fending off not only the undead, but also their own sensual desires.
  2. The overuse of carcinogens destroys humanity’s ability to grow food or livestock. To survive, certain members of the population turn into roving bands of cannibals. Those who do not become cannibals will murder you for the last can of vegan chili.
  3. After World War III, the Earth is an irradiated wasteland wherein humans build an entire society around rollerblading and solve all tribal disputes by playing “blade ball”, which just street hockey.
  4. After World War III, the Earth is an irradiated wasteland wherein humans build an entire civilization based around suped-up automobiles driven by misshapen mutant psychopaths. Gasoline, Spam and issues of Marie Claire will all be considered currency.
  5. The Earth is an uninhabitable frozen hellscape. Survivors are sorted into a caste system which separates the hopelessly poor and the obscenely wealthy aboard a constantly moving missile-train. The world’s last remaining pop-culture critic will call this new reality “a heavy-handed allegory for capitalism” before he is clubbed with a human femur and eaten.
  6. Following a disastrous flu, which wipes out most of humanity, intelligent apes must forage for food, fending off not only the remaining militaristic humans but also their own sensual desires.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s