Sundays with a Millennial Instagram Chef


I wake up early, around 10, as I always do on Sundays, or as the French say, Dimanche! Ahh smell the morning dew that was perfectly dropped upon my Saliszhitz velvet pillow by my valet. I always love a Lazy Sunday (haha remember that S & L skit?)

I look at Instagram DMs for a half hour before rising out of my California King bed, lucky me, I found the only Bed-Stuy apartment home that accommodates a Cali King! Now time to get to the laziness! I head to my local ATM to get cashola. I’m off, wearing my Aprusesszza jean shorts and Loius Button tee shirt.

“Oh hello!” I say to the friendly cashier at Duane Reade, “Just pulling out some cash, $8000 to be exact, I’m headed to the farmer’s market! Tra la laa! I hope I don’t get mugged!”

Back home to collect my vintage pink cruiser bike. But not before I change my clothes! I don a simple Carravaggionitzi silk scarf and my favorite pair of black jeans- Trachiotuchio, of course!

The sun is shining! So I have to protect my eyes, out come my gorgeous Blachinettio shades I bought on my recent trip to Gothenburg! Nothing but the best to protect these baby blues from the summer sun!

Hello! Hola! I say as I cruise on by the locals! They look confused, but I believe in being friendly always!

I arrive at the Farmer’s Market and I am in Heaven! Of course, I don’t eat the stuff, but lordy do I love the smell of food! I pick up a simple haul today. Just some blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, sour cherries, shoelaces, basil, tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, heirloom tomatoes, 6 dozen eggs, honey, goat meat, goat cheese (I like to call that the before and after HA!) mushrooms, apple cider, nipple clamps, and a big bunch of gorgeous leeks!

My Sherpa has been waiting for me so he gathers my produce and runs it home. To my home. Not his – that would be gross. Back onto my gorgeous bike I go! I’ve been doing spin classes at RhydeWheel so my body and my mind are finally ready for the intense 4 block ride!

Home again home again jiggity jog. My farmer’s market haul had been expertly laid out for me by the staff, but I’m tired! Nap time, I slip into my Schnitezelgurt silk PJs and swap my sunglasses for my Nino eyeshade. Good night! Haha, it’s mid-morning! I snooze and snooze and snooze. Wake up, time to smell the produce!

I pop on my Elanianaire robe and shuffle down to the kitchen. Thankfully cook has already sliced and diced the produce for me because guess what? The camera crew is here! Ready to talk about brunch! The stylist dresses me in an incredible couture gown, hair and makeup take only 3 hours and I’m set! And I’m on set! I’m so good, I do it all in one take. I make a goat frittata with tomato and let me tell you it smelled tasty!

After cooking up the food chef had pre-prepared for me, you better believe that I am beat! To bed I go, this time with nothing on! I like to coat my naked body in Bouganveliabesse night creme to keep it all tight.

Ahh what a fun lazy Sunday I had! How was your Sunday, followers? Leave comments, like and subscribe!

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