Photos I Post of Myself on Facebook vs. Photos I’m Tagged In

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Photo I posted-

Me in a flattering red gown next to a bouquet of American beauties.

Photo I was tagged in-

Me in red booty shorts licking a park bench.

Photo I posted-

Me holding the Hamilton playbill with a huge smile on my face.

Photo I was tagged in-

Me holding a guy I don’t know named Hamilton. There’s a huge smile on HIS face.

Photo I posted-

I am at the zoo in front of the giraffe section, and am feeding a giraffe behind me. I am smiling ear to ear and honestly it looks like the giraffe is too. A zookeeper applauds.

Photo I was tagged in-

I’m at the zoo, looking at my phone. The giraffe behind me is crying and I couldn’t care less. The zookeeper flips me off for being such a self involved POS.

Photo I posted-

I am next to Beyonce!! She is beaming, clearly likes me, and thinks I am funny.

Photo I was tagged in-

Same photo, Madame Tussaud’s House of Wax location included.

Photo I posted-

I am in a glittery romper. My legs are looking toned, my ass is looking tight,  and my cleavage is visible. I am owning the dancefloor of this club. A large man in a black suit behind me is transfixed by my beauty. He ogles as I glow.

Photo I was tagged in-

I’m on the ground outside of the club. There is vomit on my romper, and some white sugar strewn across my upper lip. I am in handcuffs. The same large black-suited man is pointing down at me with a scowl and seems to be screaming. From what I remember he was yelling something along the lines of, “You’re banned from Marquee Ya Drugged Out Bitch!”

Photo I posted-

I’m on the top of a gorgeous mountaintop. Sweat is glistening on my chest. My hair is flowing and golden in the sunlight. I’m holding an Evian bottle in my right hand and a newborn baby that I rescued in my left. 

Photo I was tagged in-

I am bleeding on the same mountain. My green neon shorts are doused in my own urine. The baby I rescued is in tears. A mob of angry women point a series of weapons at me as they scream, “You stole our newborn king!”  I scream back, “He’s mine now!”

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