Every six months, as if by clockwork, a group of former college friends send out a group text requesting, “Let’s get together!!!”
Almost like magic, the other members of the group respond, “OMG Yas,” and “It’s been so looooong!”
After rescheduling four times, the group is finally able to ‘Get Together!’ for a round of margaritas and nachos supreme. First, the gang spends the first forty-five minutes catching each other up on the dull updates in their own lives.
“Todd and I are so done. Now I’m single and ready to mingle!” someone will say as they all scream, “Wooo!” and toast their next round.
After this, they’ll spend approximately twenty minutes gossiping about their former classmates and their respective poor life choices.
“Can you believe Chad is not only married but he also has a baby? This is the guy who lit a trashcan on fire then dumped it on his own head during sophomore year!”
At some point, there is no longer anything in which these now relative strangers can share. At this time, they’ll begin dramatic retellings of events they remember from college.
The stories are always the same, though the order in which they are rehashed will change. However, regardless of who tells it, the story will always begin, “OMG, remember the time when…” followed by a hearty round of “Oh my gawd, yessss!”
Vivid details, which are not true, will be added to the story with each retelling, and the friends will laugh hysterically in their reminiscence, though they have heard the story every six months since they graduated seven years ago.
They’ll order more and more rounds of drinks, dulling the pain of life after college. The added alcohol and sugar make their college memories seem more fun than any of it actually was.
By the end of the night, they’ve tricked themselves into thinking they’ve made new memories, though these rounds of margaritas will soon blend together with the last one.
They spend twenty-five minutes figuring out how to divide the check, because no one volunteers to pay the whole thing. Though it’s 2019 and this issue has been eradicated with Venmo, the group refuses to accept it.
They pull on their coats and walk together towards their train, citing, “it was really great to see you guys! I had a lot of fun!” When all the did was talk about times when they used to have fun.
The group separates in the subway station saying, “See you soon! Keep in touch!”
But they won’t.
They won’t speak again until the next time someone sends a message saying, “Let’s get together!!!”