BREAKING: Recent Study Proves That Majority of Gen Z Admit That They Only Know How Many Days Are in A Year from Disney 365

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Dr. William Strickland came to a shocking realization after a recent conversation with his sons, both of whom grew up watching Disney Channel. While he was sitting at home with his two eldest twins, Marty and Max after their 21st birthday extravaganza, they were distracted by the television, which had been turned to Disney Channel at some point during the day. Their light conversation was abruptly halted when as Strickland and his sons were taken aback by the classic Disney Channel 365 theme music.

Of course, they’re no longer frequent viewers of this Disney produced news segment. “That’s crazy, Dad. I mean if it weren’t for this shit right here, I wouldn’t know how many days were in a year,” Marty stated to his dad. The man was baffled, shocked even. This realization, that majority of college-age adults would not have learned how many days are in a year without the constant reminder from Disney 365.

Wanting to do further research on this topic, Dr. Strickland reached out to several of his college-age patients, to dig deeper and find more concrete evidence. “Yeah, man- I mean Dr. I mean honestly, if it weren’t for Disney 365 I wouldn’t have known when the last Disney original movie of each year would have been shown, I wouldn’t have known that Demi Lovato wasn’t emo, she was just different, and THEN I wouldn’t have known how many days were in a year. My life wouldn’t be the same, really.” Blake Hoops, a patient and student at the University of Phoenix stated.

“Woah” Strickland stated. “This is extreme. I had no idea the influence that Disney Channel had on an entire generation. Was this listed at all in my journaled parental research? I may be a scientist but am I now a terrible father?” the respected scientist was almost offended. His research was secretly continued over countless of hour-long sessions with his parent-paying college students.

Another doctor, of sorts, reported on this issue after Dr. Strickland came out with his statement and worries, and he too was baffled at this epiphany. Only this time, his concerns were of a greater problem. Dr. Professor and Chairman of the History of Walt Disney, Allan Conrad is a father of two twin girls. The problem? They’re toddlers. They will never know how many days happen to be in a year if the new and “improved” Disney Channel continues to falsify our calendar. “Bring back real news!” Conrad states. Yells. We don’t really know at this point.

After several weeks re-watching every Disney 365 news segment since 2006 over and over, images of Anneliese van der Pol of That’s So Raven, and Jason Dolley of Hannah Montana, it was indeed true. Persons from ages 18-27 wouldn’t know when the year ends if it weren’t for your favorite hot-topic wearing, and bowl-cut haired child actors.

Disney has, in fact, kept up with the news segment and will provide your children with the knowledge of our American calendar. We appreciate your concerns.

 

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