Ivanka Trump’s List of Things Best Left To Poors

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  • Familial closeness
  • Getting excited about travel like it’s a special occasion
  • Performing your own childcare
  • Getting emotionally invested in fictional narratives
  • Having a favorite brand of soda
  • Wearing hats for function (as opposed to fashion)
  • Running your pet’s Instagram account
  • Running your own Instagram account
  • Scrapbooking
  • Gift bags that don’t include Apple devices or sample size clothing
  • Malls
  • Taking public transit out of necessity
  • Dining family-style (see first item)
  • Diners
  • Diners, Drive Ins, And Dives
  • Drinking water that hasn’t been filtered and/or bottled
  • Eating leftovers
  • Asking for peanuts AND pretzels on a plane
  • Sex within wedlock
  • Caring about which year you graduated high school
  • Jam bands outside the context of Burning Man
  • Patronizing any Times Square establishment
  • Emotions
  • Working
  • Morality

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