Doomsday Preppers Were Right, I Guess

cans black and white doses
Enough soda to last through the apocalypse

Doomsday preppers have been warning us all about the supposed ‘end of days’ for decades. They have been preparing for the fall of humanity, building shelters and gathering non-perishable food supplies in an effort to survive the oncoming armageddon. We have mocked them, claiming that their obsession with the apocalypse and the fall of society was without any merit. But, with the rise of evidence about the effects of climate change, and the political corruption throughout the world, I guess doomsday preppers were right. The end really is nigh.

Studies show that climate change will cause irreversible harm to our environment by 2050, affecting the food industry and causing widespread resource shortages, so I guess we’re gonna have to deal with that soon. No one has taken these threats seriously, except, of course, doomsday preppers. They have been collecting food, learning to farm in underground shelters, and how to live off of insect proteins. They have been preparing for the disasters that the rest of us just figured would go away if we started recycling. When the rest of us are sitting around cracking open our last pack of bodega ramen, the doomsday preppers will be baking their own bread with hand milled flour from their underground wheat farm.

Along with climate change, political corruption and international tensions are building up to cause a dramatic collapse in political systems across the world. Leaders across the world are losing credibility and creating tensions internationally. With how things are looking we are just a few bad tweets away from an all out nuclear holocaust. C’est la vie! Doomsday preppers have been warning us to build a bomb shelter and establish a plan for when our government collapses, but none of us listened. Do you even know where the nearest fallout shelter is? If you had listened to the doomsday preppers you would have already dug a hole into your backyard and stocked it with everything you need for when the law enforcement is disbanded and we are forced to fight for a spot in the new societal order.

Doomsday preppers were trying to warn us this whole time, but none of us were willing to hear it. We didn’t listen in Y2K, we didn’t listen in 2012, but now the tables have turned. I guess doomsday preppers were right all along, and we were too stubborn to listen. Now we’re all going to suffer the consequences of our own actions, and just cause we didn’t want to eat bugs or live 10 feet underground. Well, I’ll see the rest of you stubborn elites at the end of the world!

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