We have the numbers back and I regret to inform you that our April Fools Day Twitter post, which we did out of an authentic place of joy, failed to go viral yesterday, and as a result, everyone involved will be fired, and Kevin will be thrown in the ocean.
The point of April Fools Day is to let loose, be silly and have fun, but also to help our brand meet the financial goals set by our venture capital investors. April Fool’s Day is a chance to think outside the box, be playful, and show people we know how to joke around, but mainly to increase input at the top of the funnel and convert 60% more subscribers than last year. We fell short of these team OKRs, and as a result, all participants on the April Fool’s “Project X” team will be let go.
As you know, we dedicated a few dozen resources, from marketing to revenue and analytics, growth hacking, design and engineering. These people took on this cute and silly little project in addition to their normal workload. We knew it was a risk to take time out mid-sprint to work on something just for kicks, but we were hopeful that this risk might yield a significant reward, that reward being the genuine laughs and smiles of our customers, but more importantly, increased signups for our premium bedroom slipper subscription service.
Unfortunately, even though it’s all in good fun, it’s important that we look at quantitative data on this. We fell far short of the number of impressions needed to call this prank a success, and failed to make it onto even one listicle of the Best Brand April Fool’s Posts of 2019. Out of 25,000 people who saw our post, only 2.4% clicked through to the website, and of that group, only 4.7% signed up for SlippyFresh.
We know you worked your fingers to the bone (especially you Kevin) designing and producing a variety of concepts for this annual opportunity to showcase our good humor and sense of whimsy. We appreciate the late nights you spent in the office, and for being on-call during all of your weekends and vacations in February and March. We truly believed it was all worth it for the chance to join the lofty ranks of those who came before us: the fake chocolate ketchup announcement, the Alexa for dogs, and the Google Map layer for Mars.
Whenever we find ourselves in these tough moments, it’s important to remember why we do what we do, and that reason is money. Of course, we do it all for our company values of comfort, warmth, and belonging, but most importantly, for continued delivery toward our 2019 OKRs. If ever there were a time for experimentation and play, it would be April Fool’s Day. Here at SlippyFresh, we always welcome your unbridled creativity as long as it is backed up in the data, and in this case, the numbers made it clear that we must throw Kevin in the ocean.
Given the disappointing outcome of yesterday’s post, we are left with no choice but to let go of the entire team, except for Kevin, who as we mentioned, will be thrown into the ocean. Why Kevin and why the ocean? Well, a few days ago, Kevin remarked, “if this thing doesn’t get picked up by the blogs, you can throw me out to sea.” Given that the post was seen by no one, and picked up by no blogs, we feel we must honor Kevin’s wishes and throw him off the Santa Monica pier.
Please don’t let the outcome of this year’s prank dissuade you from coming up with quirky and offbeat ideas for the brand next year! We are 100% interested in fostering the kind of environment where ideas can come from anywhere. We believe that work can and should be fun, as long as we can see clearly on the graph that whatever you are doing is making a global impact on our upward trajectory.