Woman Incapable of Finding Difference Between Improv Fuckboi, Standup Fuckboi, and Sketch Fuckboi

man wearing red fitted cap and brown and gray plaid collared hsirt
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Me banging an improv fuckboi:

Brad and I go back to his place after he absolutely bombs a Spokane with his all male indie team, Rage Against the GHB. “What were all these incest scenes about, Brad?” I ask with genuine curiosity. “Oh, you don’t think it’s hilarious to fuck your dad?” he retorts with some disdain. “Yeah, when you put it like that, I guess it is funny,” I respond, exhausted at the thought of arguing his point. “Hey, do you listen to the Joe Rogan podcast?” he asks with such fervency he might just have an erection. “Um, yeah, sometimes. I miss the fear factor days, ” I say,  bored to tears. “You know about fear factor? A lot of people don’t realize that’s him. I’m hard by the way.” “Oh, okay. Um. cool.” “I wish I could do stand up like Joe Rogan, but I dunno, it’s not my thing. I just like making stuff up. Freedom, you know? I’m really hard.” “Oh, okay, cool, do you wanna bang? Also, great Rocky poster.” “Sure, we can bang. But can I get a suggestion for what kind of foreplay you want?”

Sigh…

Me banging a stand up fuckboi:

Bill and I go back to his place after he absolutely bombs a bar show in Red Hook. “The crowd was really off tonight, in my opinion. They didn’t even like my incest bit,” he says, angrily. “It’s not like I actually want to fuck my mom, you know?” “I never said you wanted to.” “It’s weird, one time Joe Rogan joked about fucking his mom, and it went over really well on the podcast. That guy is the man. I think I’m hard,” Bill says with glee. “I know who Joe Rogan is,” I say, bored to death. “I’m really hard now. Women don’t usually know who Joe Rogan is. Hey, you do improv right? That’s some pussy shit. But low key I’m terrified to try it. Anyway, wanna bang?” “Sure, whatever, let’s bang. Also, love your Godfather poster.” “Thanks, thanks. Can I run a bit by you before we fuck about Godfather and fucking my mom as well?”

Sigh…

Me banging a sketch fuckboi:

Blaze and I go back to his place after his truly horrific sketch team Hashtag Male Feminist performs at UCB to have some wine. “I’m so tired of mom and dad incest sketch. At least my sketch was about having sex with my cousin. She’s hot. She reminds me of you.” “That’s great Blaze. So, did you hang out with your cousins a lot as a kid?” I ask. “Do you know Joe Rogan?” says Blaze, ignoring my question. ” Yes.” “Man, I’m so glad I’m a writer, you know? Improv and stand up can be so lame. Wish I had the balls to do them both though. Anyway, should we bone? I’ll put on the Rogan cast to get us in the mood.” “Yes, let us. Cool Scarface sheets by the way.” “Ha, I have to write a sketch about us! My wheels are a-turnin!”

Sigh…

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