The Pick-Up Artist’s Best Negs For Seducing The Recently Deceased

army burial cemetery cross
Photo by Pixabay on
  1. I wonder how much prettier you’d look without all that embalming powder on.
  2. Woah. Throwback. My great nana also got buried in a pantsuit.
  3. Sorry honey, but you’re not the only person to have ever died, okay?
  4. You’re so attractive, it’s really too bad I only date alive girls.
  5. Not a lot of people went to your funeral. Were you a nerd or something?
  6. At least you’re dead so we can pretend it wasn’t your choice to get buried in that floral print.
  7. I love your coffin — from six feet above I can barely tell it’s made of plastic.
  8. I honestly didn’t know they even made urns that big.
  9. Does it usually take that many people to carry a casket?
  10. ‘Beloved friend.’ I’ll take it you wrote your own headstone?
  11. Seeing the area your burial plot’s in, I’d guess you left behind more of a ‘won’t’ than a ‘will.’
  12. Hmmm. My ex went skydiving and she’s still alive.
  13. I’ve never seen you look so good! You really should’ve considered getting impaled by a tree branch before you died.
  14. You died falling into a manhole? Maybe your family should’ve just said it was a heart attack.

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