Woman Quits Improv Because She Hates Listening

selective photography of woman putting lollipop in her lips
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Bernice dropped out of Whorecrux, her all female improv indie team,  because she admittedly, hates to listen.

“Listening isn’t that bad on its own. If it’s a song, or the sound of the ocean, I don’t mind it. It’s listening to others that gets me,” says Bernice, excited to venture beyond the world of improv.

“It’s just, I never knew what was going on in the scene. I’d come on stage as a librarian. Turns out, we’re on the moon. I would’ve known that if I’d listened to all 7 people on my team, but ugh, no thanks,” says Bernice, exhausted by her teammates’ voices.

People got mad at Bernice frequently.

“Let’s stop the scene. I said I was your mom, not your brother Bernice.”

“Bernice, WTF. I said we were at Denny’s, not at the Dead Sea.”

“Bernice. I’m talking. Why aren’t you saying anything? Hello? Bernice? EARTH TO BERNICE!”

An improv coach once said to the rest of the team in confidence…

“You should kick Bernice off this team.”

“We’ve tried,” lamented the other members of Whorecrux, “but even when we’re not doing improv, she doesn’t listen to us. We told her we wanted her off, and after a long pause, she asked us if we’d said something.”

Bernice eventually had to realize on her own that she hated listening. And realize, she did. We wondered what Bernice would do now, post improv.

“Anything where I don’t have to listen to people, like maybe, politics?”

We hope Bernice does not get into politics.

For those of you interested, Whorecrux has a Spokane show tonight at 8 at UCB Hell’s Kitchen, sans Bernice of course.


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