Psychologists recommend the use of acronyms to help you to remember to be mindful during situations that cause you anxiety, stress, or anger. These mindfulness acronyms can help you cope with Global Climate Change, and the impact it has on our daily lives.

 

When your uncle posts on Facebook a picture of himself wearing shorts in March with the caption “if this is global warming, I could get used to this!,” take a breath and focus on his SHORTS:

Shaming

Him

Only

Ruins

Thanksgiving

Stupid

 

When your boss offers his opinion that “Well actually, the Kyoto Protocol would have been pretty bad for our economy”…breathe, smile, and pick up your BRIEFCASE:

Be

Respectfully

Ignorant of

Environmental

Facts,

Close-mouthed,

And

Stay

Employed

 

When your Prius is subjected to “rolling coal” by a lifted pick-up truck with a gun rack and Trucknutz…slow down, and NASCAR:

Never

Antagonize

Shotgun

Carrying

Angry

Rednecks

 

When you find your pollen allergies keep getting worse every year…don’t stifle that SNEEZE!

Stockpile

Nasonex™,

Elestat™,

(Epinastine),

Zyrtec™,

Etc.

 

When unusually warm water in the Pacific Ocean means Whole Foods is out of Cod and you can’t make your famous Maple Soy-Glazed Cod for the potluck dinner party…allow yourself to be enveloped by THE BLOB:

Text

Host

Explanation,

Bring

Lasagna

Or

Brisket

 

When your tropical vacation plans are interrupted by the earliest super-cyclone ever recorded…all is not lost, go to your ISLAND:

Instead

Stay

Local,

Appreciate

North

Dakota

 

When the shock/amazement/amusement of seeing a Pizza Rat quickly turns to sadness because it reminded you that the (rat-like) Bramble Cay melomys is now extinct…exit the subway and this emotional MAELSTROM:

Maybe

Animal

Extinction

Leads

Scientists

To

Rescue

Other

Mammals?

 

When your devastated mother calls to tell you that your family home, photo albums, and childhood belongings were lost in the deadliest wildfire in a century, just be thankful she’s safe from the CAMP FIRE:

Considerately

Ask

Mom

“Please,

Forget

Incinerated

Relics

Existed”

 

If at any time and for any reason you start to feel the gravity of Global Climate Change stressing you out, just remember that you can always CONTINUE NOT DOING SHIT.

Contemplate

Other

Nice

Things,

Ignore

News,

Use

Energy

Needlessly,

Opt

To

Drive

Over

Instead,

Neglect

Green

Shopping

Habits,

Ignore

Temperature.