
Psychologists recommend the use of acronyms to help you to remember to be mindful during situations that cause you anxiety, stress, or anger. These mindfulness acronyms can help you cope with Global Climate Change, and the impact it has on our daily lives.
When your uncle posts on Facebook a picture of himself wearing shorts in March with the caption “if this is global warming, I could get used to this!,” take a breath and focus on his SHORTS:
Shaming
Him
Only
Ruins
Thanksgiving
Stupid
When your boss offers his opinion that “Well actually, the Kyoto Protocol would have been pretty bad for our economy”…breathe, smile, and pick up your BRIEFCASE:
Be
Respectfully
Ignorant of
Environmental
Facts,
Close-mouthed,
And
Stay
Employed
When your Prius is subjected to “rolling coal” by a lifted pick-up truck with a gun rack and Trucknutz…slow down, and NASCAR:
Never
Antagonize
Shotgun
Carrying
Angry
Rednecks
When you find your pollen allergies keep getting worse every year…don’t stifle that SNEEZE!
Stockpile
Nasonex™,
Elestat™,
(Epinastine),
Zyrtec™,
Etc.
When unusually warm water in the Pacific Ocean means Whole Foods is out of Cod and you can’t make your famous Maple Soy-Glazed Cod for the potluck dinner party…allow yourself to be enveloped by THE BLOB:
Text
Host
Explanation,
Bring
Lasagna
Or
Brisket
When your tropical vacation plans are interrupted by the earliest super-cyclone ever recorded…all is not lost, go to your ISLAND:
Instead
Stay
Local,
Appreciate
North
Dakota
When the shock/amazement/amusement of seeing a Pizza Rat quickly turns to sadness because it reminded you that the (rat-like) Bramble Cay melomys is now extinct…exit the subway and this emotional MAELSTROM:
Maybe
Animal
Extinction
Leads
Scientists
To
Rescue
Other
Mammals?
When your devastated mother calls to tell you that your family home, photo albums, and childhood belongings were lost in the deadliest wildfire in a century, just be thankful she’s safe from the CAMP FIRE:
Considerately
Ask
Mom
“Please,
Forget
Incinerated
Relics
Existed”
If at any time and for any reason you start to feel the gravity of Global Climate Change stressing you out, just remember that you can always CONTINUE NOT DOING SHIT.
Contemplate
Other
Nice
Things,
Ignore
News,
Use
Energy
Needlessly,
Opt
To
Drive
Over
Instead,
Neglect
Green
Shopping
Habits,
Ignore
Temperature.