10 Shocking Twists From D.B. Weiss and David Benioff’s New Star Wars Movies

A series of abstract depictions of the cosmos from science fiction films. Exploring fantasy, hypotheses and ways in which culture effects and reacts to representations of Space.

Game of Thrones has finally come to an end with a universally-beloved series finale penned by creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Thankfully they’re already hard at work on the scripts for a new series of Star Wars movies–– guaranteed to include these juicy twists!

  • Yoda betrays generations of fans when he uses his fire breath to kill millions of innocent Ewoks on Endor.
  • In a nod to the real-life vacuum of space, all scenes will be shot in pitch-black rooms with no oxygen.
  • Rey, the heroine of the newest trilogy, is brought back just in time to be killed off by a male character.
  • We all know that Luke is Leia’s brother, but did you know that Han has been Leia’s nephew this whole time?
  • Wait, does that mean Luke is Han’s father? Okay, fine. LUKE IS HAN’S FATHER NOW.
  • Chewbacca is seen eating a sweetgreen salad in the background of several scenes.
  • All existing plot lines are scrapped in favor of the incredibly popular trade war from Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.
  • That cat thing from the Force Awakens? It’s back, but nobody interacts with it because CGI is just so expensive, y’know?
  • If given a whole trilogy, Benioff and Weiss vow to spend the first two films traveling on foot to a desert spaceport before introducing hyperspace transporter technology never before seen in Star Wars.
  • At the end of the movies Jar Jar Binks is named Emperor.

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