Helpful Conversation Starters For Acquaintances Of That Mature Bride

By Rebekah Iliff

Do you have a not-so-close friend over 40 who has recently announced her engagement? Want to know the best approach for hinting at topics that are really none of your goddamn business? Here are a few helpful, subtle, conversation starters to really get her in the mood to open up:

  1. Remember your cah-raazy college days? You really gave new meaning to “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Wait, are you actually going to wear a white dress?
  2. Did you get one of those AARP “Fabulous and fancy-kid-free in Florida” honeymoon packages?
  3. Word on the street is that you’ve picked pale blue as one of your wedding colors and baby’s breath as a core floral element. Have you thought about having kids?
  4. Hmm, will you walk yourself down the aisle?
  5. Not that it’s any of my biz, but did your parents make a specific line-item in their will to pay for your wedding? Or perhaps for the education of their potential, unborn grandchildren?
  6. You still look so young-ish, does your husband get mistaken for the father-of-the-bride all the time or what?
  7. What about adoption?
  8. I know you’ve spent two decades building your career, globetrotting, having sex with famous people (mostly men from what I’ve heard), not being bogged down with taking care of anyone but yourself, basically doing whatever the hell you want—but if you do have children are you going to eventually change your last name?
  9. Perhaps just a dog then?

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