Universal Studios
Rock Hard: Remember when Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson made that movie, Skyscraper, and it was basically just a remake of Die Hard? Well, imagine it’s Kid Rock and — instead of a skyscraper — it’s a really long bridge.
Status: In Development
Universal Studios
Solid as a Rock: A remake of the 1991 Vanilla Ice vehicle, Cool as Ice. Kid Rock plays a race car driver, or a BMX biker, or something that kids think is hip. To tell you the truth, I never saw Cool as Ice, but Universal owns the property rights so maybe it’s time to give it another go?
Status: In Development
Warner Bros.
Untitled Kid Rock/Chris Rock Film: Maybe it’s a buddy cop comedy? Or they’re adopted brothers? They have the same last name but they’re different races. That’s got to be something, right?
Status: Greenlit (Filming begins Spring 2019)
Paramount Pictures
Rock Around the Clock: Kid Rock accidentally discovers a time machine that sends him to 1955. While Kid Rock shows off his musical abilities to bemused onlookers, Marvin Berry makes a phone call to his cousin Chuck: “Chuck, you know that new sound you’ve been looking for? Well, maybe it’s not a great idea.” Chuck Berry gives up on music and Kid Rock fades from existence. Credits roll.
Status: In Development
Dreamworks Animation
Rock the House: In a mix-up at the ballot box, Kid Rock is elected to Congress. He brings Ted Nugent along to help him brave politics’ muddy waters. America secedes from the Union.
Status: In Development
IFC Films
Picture Less Than Perfect: A documentary on the 2002, Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow duet Picture. The documentary amounts to an hour and a half of interviewers asking Sheryl Crow why she would agree to a duet with Kid Rock. Appearances by: Kid Rock; Sheryl Crow; Bono; Tony Blair; Rev. Jesse Jackson; Vaclav Havel; Minnie Pearl (voice by: Sally Field); and various people who remember buying CD singles.
Status: In Development
Warner Bros.
Third Rock From the Sun: A remake of the television series, only it’s Kid Rock in orbit around the earth played on a loop. Really, we just thought it might be a cool action figure we could sell.
Status: You tell us
MGM
Kid Rocky: People seem to like Creed and Creed 2. Now that I think of it, maybe we could remake Creed with the band Creed.
Status: Haunting our dreams
Miramax
Rock of Ages: A remake of the musical Rock of Ages, except this time all the parts are played by Kid Rock, Norbit-style.
Status: First Draft of Script Burned Following First Read
Merchant Ivory Productions
Rock n’ Roll: When the world’s third most popular Quebecois circus comes to town, Los Angeles is on high alert. Also, there’s a subplot about a new strain of some drug that sounds like an EDM song. Honestly, we just thought Kid Rock and Jonah Hill would look funny on screen together. Kid Rock plays hard-nosed FBI agent, Kyle Rock. Jonah Hill plays his lovable but bumbling partner, John Roll. Together they are Rock n’ Roll.
Status: Laser Disk-only release, September 2020
