Reasons To Reject A Gentleman In 1819 Vs. Reasons To Swipe Left In 2019

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1819: He’s not an active member of the church. 
2019: He’s not active on Instagram. 

1819: He danced the Quadrille at the ball with another fair lady. 
2019: He slept with your roommate…and she didn’t have rave reviews.

1819: He was formerly engaged.  
2019: He’s been divorced 7 times.

1819: He does not speak proper Latin.
2019: He uses Oxford Commas “ironically”. 

1819: He’s so unsightly his mother’s largest hope for him is that he become a priest. 
2019: His left eye is just slightly bigger than his right eye. 

1819: Mrs. Beverly and some other prominent women around town have heard rumor he is quite licentious. 
2019: He’s a virgin. 

1819: He’s composed 15 sonnets, 20 odes and 1 mock-epic in your honor. 
2019: He double texted you.

1819: He’s a Protestant and you’re Catholic.
2019: He’s too religious. 

1819: He fancies horse riding over dinner parties.  
2019: He’s too outdoorsy and you might have to go camping to prove you’re his type.

1819: He’s not wealthy enough.
2019: He seems like he cares way too much about money. Why would you buy a Supreme sweatshirt in every color?

1819: He’s a mere farmer and you’re a gentleman’s daughter. 
2019: He’s on farmersonly.com 

1819: Your family has forbid you from seeing him.
2019: Your mom likes him too much. 

1819: You’re only 13 you shouldn’t have to settle until you’re nearing 20.
2019: Who needs a man anyway? So what if you’re 35 and the rest of your friends are in committed loving relationships? Statistics say half of them will end up divorced. The best lifestyle is the #single lifestyle. You love living alone. You love your freedom. You’ve mastered the art of the classy one night stand. All your needs are fulfilled. Your loft overlooks Central Park. But, it would be nice to share that view with someone. Maybe you’re too harsh. Maybe it’s ok that all his Tinder pictures are selfies of him at the gym. Today could be the day you match with someone for life. You’ll tell your kids about how you met online and had your first date at Equinox. This is true love. Life is so romantic.   

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