Mental Breakdown, But Make It Fashion

Photo by Rene Asmussen on

Have you ever been losing your mind and thought to yourself, “Just because I’m spiraling, doesn’t mean it can’t be cute”? If so, you’ve come to the right place. Below are my tips on how to stay ~trendy~ in five areas of your life whilst in the throes of seemingly endless spirals. 

1. The Home, AKA Drunk Shopping at Target
Let’s be real. There’s nothing a $15 candle you don’t need, new shelves you’re not sure you have tools to put up, and a trendy lamp that you, for some reason, need AAA batteries for can’t fix! Unleash your inner-HGTV self and get some modern chic pieces for your apartment to distract you from your crippling anxiety!

  • Fun Tip: A full bottle of wine fits in a venti Starbucks cup. But you didn’t hear that from me.

2. The Hair
Dye it, chop it, anything to avoid wearing it up in a messy bun for ten days straight. Use this breakdown to your advantage, honey! If you’ve always been too scared to bleach your hair by yourself at home at 3 a.m. this is your time to shine. The world may never be the same, but you can always change your hair.

  • Hair Lite: Try wearing an edgy headband every day for a week. You’ll be so occupied adjusting it and wondering if your headache is from dehydration or the new contraption on your head that you won’t have time to engage in any negative self-talk. 

3. The Bod
There are two options, and two options only: Carb City USA bod, or too-nervous-to-eat-or-keep-anything-down bod. Choose your fighter, and embrace the journey. Nevertheless, you are a beautiful, magical land angel regardless of what your organ case looks like, slash what society tells you it should look like!

  • Advanced Technique: Get a spontaneous tattoo! You’ll be so distracted trying to decide whether or not the compliments you get are genuine that you won’t think about what you think everyone else might be thinking about you. Cute!

4. The Clothes
Try on every possible combination of outfits in your closet, but wear the same shirt to work for a week straight. Playing solo-dress-up is a surefire way to remind yourself that you really only love three outfits in your closet. You will hold them near and dear to your heart always…and possibly jokingly tweet about which one you’d like to be buried in. 

  • For The Online Shoppers: I can almost guarantee you that NastyGal is having a 60% off sale right now (yes, even on sale items too!). #NotSponsored.

5. The Accessories
Paint each of your nails a different base color, but add a French tip! This lets people know that even if you’re going cuckoo-bananas, you’re still able to still able to face shouldn’t-be-this-difficult-but-is tasks, like making a dentist appointment, texting your friends back, or putting your laundry away. And to hell with handbags! Nothing says, “I’m losing it, but still have my shit together” like manhandling your wallet, keys, phone, and $7 iced coffee all in one hand!

  • Adventurous Mode: Screw that French tip. Let those mismatched colors stand out on their own! 

Last, but not least, top it all off with a good post-mirror sobbing sesh photoshoot. Emotions are hard work, and, baby, you’ve earned this finsta post! You are now fashion. *Tyra would be so proud.

*Unless you are Tiffany. She was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!

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