I Can’t Take Out My Nose Piercing, It’s My Whole Personality

Photo by Anderson Miranda on Pexels.com

Thank you so much for the opportunity to sit down and talk to you about this position. As you can see, I left my nose piercing in to let you know I am very qualified at being a graphic designer. See? You can see my nosing piercing right here. See? It’s a little stud.

Obviously, I’ll be moving up from a stud to a hoop in about six months, kind of like what I’m hoping happens here. I’m looking for a company with promise of promotion. I want you to know I am a hard worker who can balance good taste with taking orders. Rhinestones with responsibilities. Of course, don’t give me too many orders. I’m rebellious by nature. I listen to bands that scream and yell a lot. When I sing, I hold my right nostril to make extra sure nothing falls out.

Let me be clear: I hang out with a ton of artists. I am constantly inspired. Conversations with my friends cover everything from Greek mythology to astrology. It’s exhilarating. We love doing each other’s birth charts. Some nights, when we’re feeling especially frisky, we might dabble with Tarot cards. You’d be surprised how worldly you get when 75% of your friend group gets hoops. I don’t even remember what we talked about before our piercings.

Speaking of jewelry, I wanted to point out my rings too. Do you see them? This one is silver and, unfortunately, I must admit the material is cheap. Not like my nose ring, though. This baby cost $90. I didn’t know the price going in but once it was done I was like, “I’m going to base my entire personality after this look.” It was just that beautiful.  

Yes, I love looking at art but I also love making it. If my nose ring didn’t already scream “creative connoisseur” maybe these photos of my fruit earrings can. You can tell from this collection of lemon drop studs I made for my new Etsy shop that I’m very business oriented. Watermelon’s my favorite, as you can tell by the piercing in my nose.

You know, I get sad just thinking about what you would have missed out on if I didn’t have a nose ring. Isn’t it so sad to think if this wasn’t in my nose, you’d never know what my favorite fruit was? You’d probably go your whole life wondering what my favorite fruit was and no one would ever tell you because my nose never had the chance to.

If I’m being honest, I’m so happy you guys are so open to my new nose ring. When I called my parents to tell them about this job interview, they yelled at me nonstop. They kept asking if I was going to take out my stud and I kept telling them no. Its’s 2019, employers don’t care if you have body piercings nowadays. I’m getting an ankle tattoo next so they need to chill.

I am a complex person who is incredibly qualified for this position. I know a lot about individual business needs and individual style. I have a knack for Adobe Illustrator and a great eye when it comes to telling what looks good (obviously). I’m hoping my resume summarizes that for you as well as my nose ring.   

What? I didn’t get the job? Is it because of my nose ring? 

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