I’ll Knit You A Sweater But It Will Be Woven With A Deadly Curse That Will Haunt You As Long As I Walk The Earth

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I, like many in the long line of crafters before me, was gifted with the ability to weave loose bits of string into functional (and fashionable) clothing. As long as I have showcased this skill I have been met with thousands of admirers begging me to create a beautiful piece of clothing for them. As much as I would love to spend hundreds of hours creating a custom piece of couture for any one of my fans, I must warn you that this sweater will come at a great price. And I am not talking about the cost of materials, man hours and emotional labor. I am talking about the curse that will weigh on your soul as long as I am still living on this Earth. 

Knitting is a skill that has been around for thousands of years and passed by oral tradition through generations. I, of course, learned via ancient arcane spirits who whispered instructions to me as I slept (also YouTube tutorials). I spent many years practicing this and have finally reached a point where I am able to craft any number of creations that my imagination can cook up. Each sweater I make is created through a deep meditative state that allows me to get in touch with the spirits that surround me. Each stitch is interwoven with a powerful magick that will weigh heavy on your soul as you wear the garment. 

It is impossible to say exactly what this curse will do — it could make all of your hair fall out (The Craft style) or it could make it so every third step you take you trip over something. These curses could range anywhere from mild annoyance to deadly haunts. Any number of difficulties could befall you should you choose not to heed my warning and insist on wearing one of my creations. What is certain is that this curse will follow you throughout your life, and as long as I am living this curse will continue to cause torment. 

There is only one way to truly rid yourself of the curse, while retaining a warm and stylish sweater. If you wish to be free of the curse you must first capture me and burn me at the stake along with the needles I used to create the garments. This is the only way to ensure that the arcane spirits that burrowed themselves into the threads of everything I created follow me through the veil into the spirit realm. If you believe you are strong enough to take my life then I will gladly make you a sweater, for you have proven to be a worthy adversary to the spirits of the underworld that I commune with. But be warned, by the time you receive your sweater, I will have already disappeared to the farthest reaches of the Earth, never to be seen again. You can spend your entire life searching for me but it will ultimately be fruitless, for I will live my life in hiding. But at least you will have a great sweater to keep you warm on your journeys. 

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