Aspiring Father Seen Perusing L.L. Bean Catalog

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by Casey McGowan

A local 27-year-old man was seen reading an L.L. Bean Catalog at a Queens coffee shop yesterday. There have been so many similar sightings recently that it is enough to classify this type of person as what can only be described as an “Aspiring Father”. Aspiring Fathers are usually between the ages of 27 and 32. They can typically be seen in less cool parts of major cities as they “still live there because that’s where the jobs are” but they “can’t wait to move back upstate”. 

This type of man is usually single but would really like to settle down soon.

They have also been overheard stating: “I get it though, I’m not everybody’s type. Hey! maybe I’ll adopt a few kids and go the single dad route. Now there’s a sitcom idea!”—These types of jokes don’t help these men on dates.

The aspiring father loves the simpler things in life: autumn, L.L. Bean clothing, baseball (let’s go Sox!), Coors Light, and not fitting in at parties.

Some people have speculated that this type of young male is just a myth but one local Brooklyn woman recounts her interaction with one of these “aspiring fathers”.

She states: “Yeah, he was nice but he kept saying that the right candle can really make a house feel like a home. I just didn’t think that we were the right match.”

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