If crafting a killer opener on Bumble (the only dating app where the woman is required to message the man first) is giving you an ulcer, stop stressing. I’ve rounded up the five best openers that are literally guaranteed to make every single man you match with understand that you are the woman of his dreams.
- Let me treat you like the king that you are
This opener successfully reminds every dude of his deep seated secret dream: to be a king with omnipotent power. You don’t even need to specify what kind of king-like treatment you’ll give him. You just have to imply that he is a king, and trust me, that’s enough for him to realize that you’re the woman for him. Try it out! Guaranteed to get a response along the lines of “I’m listening,” or “Why aren’t more girls like u?”
2. I respect the crap out of you
Breaking out the magical R word in your first message is a genius move. Even if this dude’s profile implies that he’s jobless and super poor, throwing him some fake respect will seriously make him wonder why he’s not dating you already. Since the day every man was born, he’s been told that a good wife should respect him, so why make him earn your respect when you can trick him right off the bat? Take a risk girl! Guaranteed to get a response like “ You should,” or “Same.”
3. Your profile has seriously reawakened my sexuality
Dudes will do anything to be the guy the break the curse of a sad, neglected, anticlimactic sex life. So let this guy know that just by snapping a few photos of himself and writing an unoffensive bio, he was able to singlehandedly reinvigorate your libido. No need to deprive a man of a well deserved ego boost. Give it a shot! Guaranteed response of, “ ha lots of gurls say that,” or “Show me pics now.”
4. Hey, were you in the Revenant?
Dudes find this movie poetic. Seeing Leonardo Dicaprio attacked and nearly eaten by a bear three times over gives every dude an emotional hard on, and it’s your job to remind them of that. This opener will let this dude know that you think he’s strong, fame worthy, and ready to kiss you against a snowy tree in the middle of the woods. Guaranteed response of “ haha, I wish,” or “haha, not to brag but yeah.”
5. Ooo Ur Mysterious Tell me more
When you find yourself utterly baffled and uninformed by a man’s profile, but still definitely want to bang him, throw this one out there. Men like being enigmatic and impossible to figure out, so he’ll love that you’re confused from the start. He’ll appreciate an opener that reminds him of how successfully elusive he’s being and you can trust that in time, he’ll want to reveal himself to you. Guaranteed to get a response like, “ha, that’s what they all say,” or “ask me anything princess.”
There you have it. Five openers that are guaranteed to grab your future lover’s attention for good. A solid opening makes for a solid relationship, and with these carefully crafted gems, every bumble dude will be begging to give you everything you deserve. What are you freakin waiting for girl? Message him now.