Why Literally Every Child On This Delta Airlines Flight Is Crying Right Now

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37A: Fear of flying

29D: Fear of change, and companies with names that represent it in math and hard sciences

44C: Because this $14.99 fruit salad tastes like latex gloves, aerosol, and eternal solitude

23E: Favorite toy is stuck in one of the overhead bins

26B: Is stuck in one of the overhead bins

24A: Because this article about the culture of French Polynesia seems a bit reductionist, and she just expects better out of Delta Sky Magazine, you know?

34C: Seemingly the only one who’s noticed that Engine 3 is engulfed in flames right now

15D: Because the blind fortuneteller foretold of doom on his next visit to Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport (ATL)

22A: “I’m sorry, buddy, we only serve Pepsi products on this flight.”

23B: I have no fucking clue why this child is crying

34A: Because TSA confiscated his souvenir snow globe prior to boarding

33F: Because TSA confiscated his entire family prior to boarding

9B: In-flight movie is “The Notebook,” and I don’t think I need to explain any further

23A: Surrounded by crying children

12E: Because no matter how many inspirational Delta commercials this cabin crew makes you sit through, flying fucking sucks

Me: Same existential fear of insignificance as always


    • Glad you liked it, and thank you for the comment! Yeah, this post was inspired by an 8-hour flight back from Turkey, where the crying was essentially done in surround sound haha. But your experience sounds even more miserable. The value of good headphones can’t be underestimated.

      Liked by 2 people

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