Home for the season, Alice rounded a bend
Through the dark forest to surprise an old friend.
“Let’s do this,” she said, literally out loud,
And into the darkness she fearlessly plowed.
Off to see Jeremy! Her smile did glisten.
She’d talk about men, while “he liked to listen.”
Since her move to the city, she’d felt a tad lonely
But but surely she’d find that she wasn’t the only.
Suddenly, a noise. The snap of a stick?
“I’m not afraid,” she said loudly, once again in public.
But ‘twas a girl from her high school who emerged. Heaven’s sake!
She laughed to herself, “Oh. Just a snake.”
Oh my god, Ella? I haven’t seen you all year!
Oh my god, Alice! What are you doing here?
Their plans were exchanged. Ella gasped and agreed.
“To Jeremy’s!” Ella squealed. Haunted indeed.
Ella and Jeremy? They’d never been close!
She’d had oral herpes. They’d thought it was “gross.”
Ella’d say, “It’s genetic!” and they’d be like “… Okay?”
It’s still really gross? Get it fixed anyway?
She spotted a gift bag and stifled a scoff
For only fake people try buying friends off.
Said Alice, “My goodness, it’s dark around here!”
“It is,” replied Ella. “But nothing to fear.”
Alice knew Ella had moved, just like her
To a city much larger than where they once were.
Ella’s city was nice, but “cliché,” Alice thought it
And also could not even slightly afford it.
The travelers’ chit-chat kept the monsters at bay.
Ella, it seemed, liked her life far away.
“The city’s the best. Though it’s pricey for sure.”
“For some people,” said Alice, who’s very secure.
But suddenly, she froze as her memory stirred;
Not one year ago, her mom had sent word:
“We bought a rice cooker! And Ella just died 😦 ”
A ghost, she was next to. Her eyes opened wide.
“So it’s Ella!” She feared. “A ghost, where she stood!
She’s the monster who’s killing, who’s haunting this wood!”
She glanced towards the girl as her whole body trembled.
“That skin,” she then grimaced. A ghost she resembled.
“I know what you are, Ella. Don’t make a sound.”
She slowed to a stop, but did not turn around.
Fearful but drunk from an earlier thing,
Alice screamed out with an almighty ring:
“I know you’re a monster, you’re back from the dead!
Are you going to kill me? Don’t do it!” she pled.
Ella unmoving, Alice braced for a spell.
Ella turned slowly and said, “What the hell?”
Getting news from her mother, she might have thought twice.
It was just a crockpot that could also cook rice.
And in fairness, Ella was paler than most.
But perhaps all too quick did her mind jump to “ghost.”
“I didn’t die, you moron! That was Jennifer Curran.”
She’d worked on a farm and slipped on some urine.
A laugh, Alice stifled. Ella’s face was still straight.
“It wasn’t, like, cancer,” Alice mumbled, too late.
So brutal was the silence on the path where they tread
That an actual monster sensed the tension and fled.
“Oof,” said the monster, with a wince and a groan,
“That Titanic is sinking just fine on its own.”
They arrived at long last and knocked on the door.
Finally, no more of that bore! (She thought “whore.”)
It opened, he answered … in a gold paper crown?
And why were there streamers? And … friends from their town?
“Jeremey!” squealed Ella, pushing Alice away.
She pulled out the gift and yelled, “Happy Birthday!”
“Oh, Alice!” said Jeremy, “Please … come inside!”
“I … I have a gyno appointment,” she lied.
She fled, now an atheist. “No God would allow this.
I’d rather be that fucker who died eating cow piss.”
“Where’s that damn monster?” She begged him to bite her.
His birthday? A party? And he didn’t invite her?
In horror and shock, she started on home
Where the monster did find her on its nightly roam.
“Don’t eat me!” she begged him. “A deal we can make!
That house, over there. Ten bitches, one cake.”