My Interview With Melania To Discuss The Impeachment Inquiry And The Halloween Candy Incident

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Me: Hello Melania thank you so much for meeting with me again. It’s been a long time since we last spoke.
Melania: Hello, yes we no see each other for ten years. 
Me: No actually I interviewed you last just under two years ago. 
Melania: Oh, I am surprise. It feels ten years. 
Me: Oh yes, I see  it feels like we have not seen each other in ten years, not because you miss me, I’m sure. But because for you these last two years have felt very long. Right? 
Melania: Yes. Be best. 
Me: Well. OK I’m not here to talk about Be Best, I actually wanted to see how you were doing and hear your thoughts on the Impeachment inquiry. 
Melania: Yes, I am very exciting. They give Donal peaches then I no more pretend wife. 
Me: I’m sorry. Hmm. I need to unpack this. So you are excited about the impeachment? 
Melania: Yes, the congress give Donal peaches then I move to France. 
Me: Do you actually think it’s about peaches? 
Melania: In America peaches very bad fruit. They give to president when they want him go. So now they give Donal peaches and I go too. 
Me: Oh OK so you actually think in America we give peaches to a bad president and then he is fired. Why will you go to France? Because this whole marriage is a charade and you hate him, which is why he made that comment about you not crying if he got shot, last week? 
Melania: Yes.
Me: Wow, you are being so candid. Thank you.
Melania: Thank you. Please. 
Me: Why will you go to France? 
Melania: My friend there. She wife too. 
Me: You mean Brigitte Macron the first lady of France? 
Melania: Yes. She is older woman she teach me to find younger man, not fat, older one who is stupid, moron, idiot. 
Me: Oh, that sounds like a good idea. Now, can I ask a question about the Halloween candy incident? 
Melania: Yes, Halloween. 
Me: What happened? Why did you and Donald put candy on a child’s head? 
Melania: He have bouncy head. 
Me: But you knew he had a bag right? 
Melania: We no have Halloween dress up in Slovenia. I don’t understand this dress up candy day.
Me: But you have lived here in the U.S. for 23 years. Surely you have interacted with this holiday before? 
Melania: Be Best. 
Me: You know what? You’re right, why bother? Thank you for you’re time Melania and hopefully this will be the last time we speak. With all this peaches stuff going on you’re tenure as first lady should be coming to an end. So long. 
Melania: So long. Peaches please.
Me: Trust me if I could I would reign peaches all over Donal! But it is not in my control! Good bye!

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