You think you’re stressed? Your jeans are literally distressed. For all they do for you, indulge your distressed jeans with a few of these self-care home remedies that will lift the spirits of any type of jeans, no matter how ripped, patched up, and trendy they are.
1.) Stretch them out at yoga class.
Your jeans’ fibers are as tight as your muscles after you decided to “try out” CrossFit that one time: they are clenching big-time just to fit your well-deserving, sexy ass. Stretch them out with professional direction from a yoga instructor named River that you’re paying $30/class for—your distressed jeans can sense when you pay for quality. Just don’t downward dog it too far to the point where either you pull a muscle, or your jeans rip to reveal a massive-ass breach in your pooper region. The embarrassment will just distress them more!
2.) Run them a nice bubble bath.
Their pockets are stretched out from you shoving your phone in there, their bottoms have been cuffed like the prisoner to your ass it is, and you literally just wore them to yoga like we advised. They’re craving relief! To help them relax after a long day, run your distressed jeans a nice bubble bath and pour them a glass of wine. Believe me, they’ll thank you later 😉 Just don’t forget the essential oils, or even a bath bomb! And no, running them in a cold wash cycle with a Tide pod thrown in is not the same.
3.) Let them relax and lounge in some nice, comfy sweatpants.
On a normal day, you hate wearing jeans. And your jeans feel that too. Imagine being compressed to the standards of thigh-hugging skinny jeans your entire life? Well guess what…that’s their reality. To wind them down, treat your distressed jeans to a pair of your favorite sweats. Believe us, they’ll thank you as they curl up under a fuzzy blanket, thoughtfully hold their favorite coffee mug while sporting a messy bun and glasses, and take a “staying in” Instagram post to make their ex-Boyfriend jeans jealous of how cute they look au-naturel.
4.) Tuck them into bed early.
Never underestimate the benefits of some much-needed shut-eye! When you’re stressed, sleep is essential to helping you heal and re-charge. Well, the same goes for your distressed jeans. And while distressed jeans might be your go-to clubbing pants, just this one time, for the love of God, let them stay in for the night and get caught up on beauty sleep. You know you’ll feel more comfortable—and versatile—dropping it low in leggings anyway.
5.) Make sure they have an active support system.
Everyone needs a stable support system in their life, including your incredibly distressed jeans! They’re brought into this world perfectly-designed, only to be ripped up, destroyed and ruined intentionally—just like you! You have your friends and family to lean on, but what do your distressed jeans have? Nothing, unless you count that crop top you’re wearing that can’t even provide your distressed jeans their love language of physical touch. Give your distressed jeans the uplifting support system they deserve with a belt, because you know what it’s like to be single—don’t put your jeans through the same thing!
You’ll never completely eliminate your distressed jeans’ distress—that’s just the way American Eagle designed them. But what you can do is encourage them to take active steps to combat stress so that they can continue to be their most jeanuine self: the fun, happy, sassy jeans you know and love.