Sentences Parents Think Are Normal, But Would Sound Bizarre If Used In The Homes Of Couples Without Children

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“We don’t eat Play Doh.”

“We don’t kick people.”

“You don’t have to cry when I go into the other room.”

“Please hold still while I’m wiping your butt.”

“I’m not a garbage can.”

“I’m not a napkin.”

“I’m not a tissue.”

“Food isn’t for throwing.”

“Don’t wipe your boogers on the pillow.”  

“Can you ask me nicely?”

“I like it when you use your big boy voice.”

“I can’t hear you when you use that tone.”

“If you yell one more time there will be no screen time today.”

“No, I can’t guess what Pikachu did after that.”

“I bet I can put my shoes on faster than you can.”

“We have a long car ride ahead of us, so I want you to at least try to go to the bathroom now.”

“I know you have to pee because you keep grabbing at your crotch like that.” 

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