by Pat Wurmli
When I accepted the invitation to Milly Cartwright’s New Year bash, I hadn’t anticipated that Spotty Millington would be there. The last time we’d met had been at the prom dance, and we were perfectly matched, we both had spots, also braces and wore glasses. Except mine had a patch over one lens.
Having both drunk a lot of the punch, which had been laced with spirits by the other students, we had staggered out into the garden. There had been a full moon and the light cast a gentle glow over our faces. Spotty removed my glasses–I didn’t realise he was wearing them at the time–and clumsily kissed me. We became inseparable after that kiss, in fact it took the Fire Brigade two hours to disentangle us–the first hour they spent laughing!
Spotty, recollecting this incident, said it had accounted for him becoming a Musician, heavy metal, he named his band The Em-bracers. His wife approached, the worse for wear–in fact she had awful taste–and he whispered, “She reminded me of you!” She wore glasses with a patch over one lens, and braces. Spotty turned away to greet some friends, but his wife, who was very sozzled, staggered over, looking decidedly green.
I guided her to the bedroom, and it became apparent that she was going to be sick – over me!
I stepped quickly aside and guided her towards the window, which I hoisted up, and watched in horror as she disappeared over the windowsill. Luckily it was a bungalow! To think, If I had kept my braces I could have been married to a millionaire, but life is full of chances, you just have to spot them!