14 Pieces Of Proof That Adam Sandler Is To Bruce Springsteen As Steven Wright Is To Bob Dylan

1. At the end of the 90’s Wright worked with Dylan in Chicago opening shows for him. In the early 90’s Sandler worked out at the same time as Springsteen in a Bally’s Fitness Gym in Manhattan. Springsteen honored Sandler at the time by recognizing him as “that Adam Stanley” from SNL.

2. “Sandler is a Jewish guy who plays guitar, and sings a little funny, and Springsteen is a Catholic guy who plays guitar, and seems a little Jewish. Wright is a Catholic guy who plays guitar, and seems a little Jewish, and Dylan is a Jewish guy who plays guitar, and sings a little funny,” quipped Gertrude Stein once.

3. Springsteen, and Dylan both dropped out of their respective colleges, and Wright, and Sandler both graduated from their respective colleges. Proving also that compared to musicians even the funniest comedians have more in common with accountants.

4. And just as with their respective colleges both Springsteen, and Dylan rode their respective motorcycles until they respectively fell off. Springsteen later tried explaining that his motorcycle accident in ‘67 was in fact only an homage, and cover of Dylan’s famous motorcycle spill from 1966. Sandler and Wright both rode their respective bicycles with no respective incidents.

5. Sandler is often associated with his much requested “Chanukah Song,” and Springsteen parallels with his oft-requested version of “Santa Claus is Coming.” Dylan worked for MLK, and Wright worked for LCK.

6. Dylan’s net worth is $200 million, Springsteen’s is $500 million, Sandler’s is $400 million, and Wright’s is $2 million. Sandler’s wife acts in his films. Springsteen’s wife sings in his concerts, and Dylan’s ex-wife owns half his song writing royalties (this one was an enforced collaboration courtesy of the legal system). “I do” could turn out to be Wright’s most lucrative deadpan monotone one-liner ever. Take a wife please.

7. Dylan’s real name Zimmerman, and Wright’s real name Wright both mean woodworker in German and Old English. Sandler means “shoemaker” in Yiddish, and Springsteen means “stepping stones” in Dutch. Ok so those two aren’t exactly the same, and they both have to do with feet.

8. But this next one will give you goosebumps for sure. The combined first letters of their four astrological signs can be arranged to spell the word “GALS.”

9. The foursome once briefly formed a super group/Beatles cover band called “The Archetypes.” Starring Dylan as ‪John Lennon‬, Springsteen as McCartney, Wright as Harrison, and of course “The Sandman” as “The Ringo.” They finally broke up when Courtney Love showed up as Yoko.

10. Sandler and Springsteen both had dogs named Kennedy. Wright and Dylan both had cats named Lincoln.

11. Springsteen covered Dylan’s songs in concert twelve times, and Dylan never returned the honor until Bruce badgered him to by writing the song “Cover Me.” Dylan finally relented, and did a version of “Dancing In the Dark,” once. ‪Neil Diamond‬ majestically covered Sandler’s “Chanukah Song. And everyone’s uncle is always suddenly shockingly funny when “covering” Wright’s jokes while simultaneously failing to give him proper credit.

12. Sandler-Springsteen vs. Wright-Dylan exhibition celebrity mens’ doubles tennis match ended 6-4, 6-2 with Dylan continually drawing warnings from the chair umpire for repeatedly snarling in his McEnroesque way, “C’mon man, you’ve gotta serve it to somebody!”

13. All four artists had a huge African American following until NBC Weatherman Al Roker lost over 100 pounds, and could no longer be considered “huge.”

14. Springsteen, Wright, and Dylan have all won Oscars in various categories putting pressure on the younger Sandler to win one too. And if Sandler ever does get his Oscar the other three will certainly feel the heat to finally come up with either an “MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss” or at least a “Teen Choice Award for Choice Hissy Fit:Film.” Certainly a tall order for any dude over 60.

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