Your New Morning Routine — Simplified

Wake well rested ninety minutes before sunrise as practiced by Indian Holistic Medicine. Next, stimulate your waking brain by looking at dazzling blue/green light as prescribed by Bright Color Theory. Smile as you do so, creating a feel-good effect for the rest of the day; releasing mood-lifting serotonin. Afterward, write three pages of stream-of-consciousness thoughts to cleanse your mind for the day ahead. As you write, swish oil in your mouth on an empty stomach for twenty minutes to draw toxins from your body then eat a clove of chopped garlic to aid the body’s immune system.

You must eat within an hour of waking, so consume a pre-prepared breakfast and drink 12 ounces of warm water with a slice of lemon and ginger to jump-start your metabolism. After eating, brush your teeth for three minutes and scrape your tongue while studying your vision board, gratitude list, and daily affirmations. Without delay, enjoy a hot drink in order to replenish fluids, improve digestion, and relieve constipation. Speaking of – morning is the best time to go number two, and what better time than after your morning brew?

With haste after making waste, go outside and soak up 20 minutes of morning sun, which provides vital Vitamin D, but remember to apply sunscreen to prevent wrinkles and skin cancer. Conduct an exercise and stretching routine to maintain your body before setting off on a walk, which when performed in the morning, has cardiovascular benefits. As you walk barefoot in nature, listen to classical music, which will release a determined dose of dopamine.

Upon returning, spend 45 minutes with family, but afterward, spend some time alone working on a personal project close to your heart — which at this point needs some aspirin to prevent heart disease. One may be too tired when evening comes around, so if the situation arises, make love with your partner as regular sex combats irregular sex.

Subsequently, cuddle your partner to promote post-sex intimacy, then return to the bathroom as scientists have proven a shower in the morning improves blood circulation. In the shower, sing; which helps lower cortisol levels. Don’t forget to engage in ten minutes of dry body brushing before the shower, to assist with lymphatic draining and to enhance the skin’s appearance. After watering yourself, water your plants to help their task of reducing carbon dioxide in your home, then engage in twenty minutes of meditation. Afterward, note any dreams you may recall from the night before and conduct an analysis, as ‘a dream uninterpreted is like a letter unopened.’ You should then open any mail that was delivered as a letter unopened is like a dream uninterpreted.

Your morning routine should continue by reading the newspaper, as it is important to be an informed citizen, and you should always check to see if the world exploded overnight. If it hasn’t, make your bed to promote discipline and complement this by ‘eating the frog’ and taking on the most challenging task of the day, as advised by Mark Twain. Upon completion, dress for success from a selection of simple designs as you need to avoid decision fatigue. Remove from the freezer the lunch you meal prepped last night, then pack your bag with your keys, phone, and other essentials, which you also gathered last night, to avoid a last-minute rush. Finally, leave yourself ample time to get to work as nobody needs the stress of transport disruption in the morning. This new simplified morning routine will ensure you have the energy and confidence to answer the 200+ e-mails inquiring as to your whereabouts when you arrive at work fourteen hours late.

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