by Talib Babb

Shaking hands can be tricky and it gets trickier when one party has sweaty hands. Some of you are reading this and your hands are starting to get sweaty. Should you shake hands with a person with sweaty palms, here are the do’s and don’ts to follow.

Do

Tell them they have the best hands you’ve ever felt.

Pick their brain about how you can make your hands as sweaty as their hands.

Take their hand and rub it on your cheeks for good luck.

Pay them to flick their fingers towards you so sweat gets on your shirt.

Have them sign their autograph on paper and ensure the moistness from their hands smudges the pen ink.

Give them permission to hold your phone long enough so it gets water damage. 

Hold onto their hand until the sweat from their palms washes your hands of sin.

Ask them to marry you. 

Don’t 

Ask ‘why are your hands so sweaty?’ 

Recommend they stop everything they’re doing to see a doctor immediately.

Grab a towel to wipe your hands.

Give them a towel to wipe their hands.

Strangle them with a towel. 

Tell everybody in the room to not shake that person’s hand because they have cooties.

Call the police to report them for transferring poisonous liquids to your hands.

Shake their hand.