Keeping a clean home is super easy if you know these simple tips and tricks!
1) Develop a schedule
First of all, if you’ve not developed a cleaning schedule—you must. It’s much easier to keep on top of a daily task than attempting to do everything on Saturday. This is why I’ve employed a lovely lady named Linda to clean on Tuesdays and every other Wednesday a nice young man with a pick-up truck comes to tend the yard. Just be sure to keep a written schedule somewhere everyone in your house can see it to avoid embarrassing confusion, like planning a garden soiree on an ill-timed Wednesday. I’m still apologizing to my book club for that one.
2) Find a place for everything.
I found that it is way easier to keep my house clean when I really limit the amount of “stuff” I have. Have you heard of Marie Kondo? She’s awesome! I decided none of my cleaning supplies brought me joy, so I got rid of those right off the bat. Plus, Linda always brings her own, so really, why did I even have Pledge? Wasted space! I also got rid of my coffee maker. Who needs that kind of clunky counter clutter when Starbucks exists?
For the weeks that Linda doesn’t clean my house, I rely on a rotation of very expensive candles to lightly scent all our living spaces. A faint lavender scent in the dining room and foyer allows my guests to imagine my floors have always just been scrubbed with Fabuloso. A light cotton scent in the living room whispers of a houseful of clean Egyptian blend sheets. A strong cucumber melon scent in the kitchen reminds me of middle school, and the crippling anxiety of that memory keeps my appetite in check—a lovely bonus!
4) Order in
The best way to keep your kitchen clean? Don’t use it! I used to attempt to cook meals both in the morning and at night, and let me tell you, that’s a one-way-ticket to kitchen disasters. I’ve transitioned us all to single serving, high-protein breakfast bars in the morning and artisan organic microwavable meals for the nights where I don’t have the mental bandwidth decide which food delivery app to use.
5) Embrace the “touch it once” rule
Though it’s mostly used for things like mail and random brick-a-brack that gets brought into the house, I’ve adapted this rule to other areas to help keep a handle on our home. Anything stainless steel or prone to fingerprints? Only touch it once! Children who may be sticky? One hug per day!
6) Shower at the gym
I keep a locker full of my shower supplies at my pilates studio, which cuts down on the amount of hair and general dirt that might typically accumulate in the bathroom. My husband also showers at the gym or maybe his apartment in the city, who knows. He’s only allowed to use the bathroom attached to the garage. Our master bathroom stands ready for a Home and Gardens tour at all times, just in case those bitches ever get back to me.
7) Immediately hang up your laundry
I know it’s tempting to just leave the laundry in the bags from the laundry service, but hanging up your dry cleaning and immediately putting your clean, folded clothes in their drawers really does make a difference in the overall aesthetic, and it only takes a few minutes.
8) Keep toys in the playroom
I find it’s easiest to keep toys and all kid related things in the basement playroom, I even moved the kids down there, which has been fabulous. Now I just throw a pallet of goldfish crackers down the stairs every so often and I no longer have to worry about crumbs on my heirloom rugs.
9) Cut down on dog hair
Regularly take your dog to the salon to ensure shedding is at its lowest level. Also, make sure you run your Robot vacuum daily. Disregard whatever breed your family is pining for and invest in a dog purely based on how much it sheds. An once of prevention, you know.
10) Set a timer to declutter.
At the end of the day I set a quick 5 minute timer on my phone to tidy up all my spaces. Since I’ve made sure to keep our belongings culled to the height of modern minimalism, I find it never takes me long to move a satin-lined throw pillow back to where it belongs and then other 4 minutes and 30 seconds I can spend however I choose—editing photos to post to Instagram or doing a quick sheet mask (#selfcare).
It’s amazing how easy it is to keep your house spotless once you start using these hacks. I hope this helps you get a handle on your home. Seriously, we’re not going to let you host any more wine club meetings until you get this shit sorted. Lindsay said there was toothpaste in the sink of your kid’s bathroom last time. That is just unacceptable, Claire. This is a respectable neighborhood. I know you can figure it out, sweetie. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with, but I’m not sharing Linda’s contact info, so don’t even go there.