Ways In Which Total Participation In Social Distancing Will Mitigate COVID-19 And Also Your F.O.M.O

It will reduce the overall load of the viral infection as well as the overall load on your mind that fifty of your closest friends could be at a happy hour somewhere without you.

It will inhibit the virus from perpetuating within the community and it will also inhibit you from perpetuating your own fears that everyone but you is at Harry Potter trivia tonight, especially since you kill at Harry Potter trivia.

It will decrease the number of COVID-19 cases presenting at any one time and in addition, the number of “what r u guys up to tn?” texts you’d be sending on any given afternoon.

It will relieve the added stress on healthcare workers and the added stress on you, who’d otherwise be preoccupied with whether or not people are still going to karaoke tomorrow after Karen’s thing.

It will flatten the pandemic curve just as it will flatten your urge to survey public Facebook events to see how many of your friends are “interested in going” to that themed-popup-speak-easy-sports-cat-cafe.

It will spare people with chronic medical conditions and weakened immune systems and also you with a weakened sense of contentment in whatever you are doing at the present moment.

It will protect the elderly from infection and similarly you from the pervasive apprehension that others might be having an enjoyable time doing quite literally anything in a group environment from which you are absent from.

It will prevent fragile bodies from literally dying and you from needing to say that you’re “literally dyinggg” to hang out with everybody.

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