Living in this new quarantine world has given me time to sit back and reflect on my marriage of almost four months (it’s been three months and five days exactly). And in that time I’ve realized just how lucky I am. Not only due to the fact that I have Brian, my one and everything, my Bry-Bry, while many of you have nothing. Maybe you have a beloved pet to hang our with, but they are not a substitute for a spouse! And it’s actually insulting to say that they are. Would you say that to a parent? I don’t think so, so it’s just as rude to say it to me, a married person. Getting back on track, LOL, I’ve realized how lucky I am that my Brioche-Bun-Brian and I were able to have the wedding of our dreams just before this world changed forever.
I’ve seen many of my followers, some of whom I even consider acquaintances, comment on my posts about the heartache of postponing or even canceling their wedding due to the COVID-19 quarantine. And while I’ve hit the like (three different colored heart emoji’s) button I took no pleasure in doing so. I was merely saying that my heart goes out to those bride-to-bes that never got to-be-brides. And I’ve done this on all my social media posts on all major platforms (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, look for my Quibi show next month!).
I want to offer this piece of advice for people who had to postpone or cancel their wedding. Don’t worry about what other people think about your decision. They certainly aren’t thinking about your wedding that didn’t happen. But if and when you do get to have your wedding, I know this much: all those friends and family you invited will celebrate you SO HARD. Like they all celebrated me at my wedding just three-eighths of a year ago (it’s been three months, five days and one hour exactly). I can almost guarantee that your loved ones that survive this nightmare will be more than happy to “Cha-Cha-Slide” with you.
As I may have mentioned though, I was able to get married within the past year (it’s been three months, five days , an hour and two minutes exactly) and my father gave the most beautiful toast. This is what he said on that beautiful day, the day of my wedding, when I was able to get married without fear of a global pandemic. He said:
“Marriage is like a kaleidoscope. You’re not quite sure what to make of it at first, and then it’s all in your face and showing you a colorful pattern. But then life throws you a turn, and that’s like when a kaleidoscope turns it’s handle, or whatever it’s called, and changes the colors. I’m not speaking literally, I’m using a metaphor. Wait, no I used the word like, it’s a simile. And when that kaleidoscope changes, it may not be as beautiful, but it’s still yours. Have you ever seen a kaleidoscope? They’re neat. The views they give are pretty. I really wish there was a word to describe what their combination of colors and patterns is like. I know there must be one. Mish-mash! That’s it, it’s a mish-mash of colors! Anyway, your mother and I never thought you would get married, but here we are. So let’s lift a glass. I hope you two always appreciate the telescope of your life that is this marriage. Sorry, got my scopes crossed. Your marriage is a kaleidoscope.”
Simply poetic. Those words my father said resonated with me then and now and maybe even tomorrow too, but I’m not ready to commit to that yet. Which brings me back to marriage, it is a COMMITMENT!
Something else that I must point out, I really wish I didn’t have to, but I must: I know you may feel like you’re already married, but I have to tell you, unless it’s seen as a marriage in the eyes of God and Uncle Sam, it’s just not the same. I also don’t just mean that you’re not just married, but that you don’t actually love each other before you’re married. I realize now that I’m married, that I never loved my husband before we were married, or even after we were married. I started loving him just now. At the end of that last sentence.
So I’ll leave you with this: one day when this quarantine ends you’ll get to marry your significant other on a different day and maybe even a different venue than you had originally planned, but it will be magical. Not as magical, because that first date and venue were perfect, but still somewhat magical. The weather was just gorgeous that day. Who would’ve thought in March it would’ve been that nice? And if the quarantine never ends then at least you know me, and I got to have possibly the last normal and most perfect wedding in the history of mankind. And I thank you for acknowledging that thought. (Wink Smiling emoji)