Tips For Working From Home When Home Is A Sense of Security And Comfort And That Shit’s Gone

How can you successfully work from home when home is more of a feeling and less of a place? Read on.

1) Cut a hole in the middle of your weighted blanket and wear it as a cape. Your coworkers on Zoom will be too confused to comment, especially because you keep saying, “Uncle Frank, don’t hug me so hard!”

2) Instead of adding milk to your coffee, add milk to your milk. Drink it out of a boob mug to coddle your inner infant.

3) Arrive late to every work call wearing a matching Old Navy hat and scarf dusted with fresh snow. Put your suitcase down, look around, and say, “Mom? Dad? I’m home… ” Your Dad (played by your boyfriend, he doesn’t have a job) peers at you over his newspaper and says quietly with a warm smile, “Merry Christmas, honey. Welcome home.” Sit down at your desk and ask what you missed.

4) Light a candle called “when you put your pajamas on at night and they still smell like that morning’s bacon”

5) Call your boss ‘Daddio.’ Your boss is a female and is younger than you.

6) For lunch, make a big pot of soup. Tell your coworkers you quadrupled the recipe whatever you’re Italian! Dribble it on your camera so they can get some of the soup.

7) Before you power down for the day, ask a client to split a bottle of wine with you and gossip about your Aunt Jeanine. It’s a scary world out there, and no one knows the future, but Jeanine will always be batshit and that’s something you can hold on to. ❤

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