Tears Of Joy In A Tandem Parking Spot: Woman Weds Her Jeggings

Even the pigeons sunning themselves in the parking lot of the Sunnyvale apartment building seemed to join in the revelry. 

Ms. Julia Gallagher, 32, a Senior Programming Specialist at Facebook in Menlo Park, California, and Mr. Superstar High-Rise Built-In Sculpt in Cosmic Wash, a pair of jeggings, were married on April 30 in their building’s tandem parking space, the one farthest from the recycling dumpster. It was a “snap decision” that followed the bride’s originally scheduled nuptials to a pair of Fabletics Dynamic High-Waisted Lattice 7/8 leggings, set for March 21 at the Sonoma County Wine Reserve, where 250 guests were expected to attend.

“Sometimes fate steps in,” said Ms. Gallagher, who graduated from Stanford and holds an MFA from the USC School of Cinematic Arts. Mr. Superstar High-Rise Built-In Sculpt in Cosmic Wash received a stamp of approval from Inspector A5 in Thailand.

Ms. Gallagher and Mr. Superstar High-Rise Built-In Sculpt in Cosmic Wash had waited so long to find each other “so we just decided to go ahead and make it official,” said Ms. Gallagher. “I had lived with so many leggings, but something always went wrong, usually with saggy knees or a waist band that was too tight. Then I met Superstar one night, we were both online,” she smiled, her wide eyes sparkling. “With sheltering-at-home and that goddamn French bakery down the street with 24/7 pick-up, you just want to be comfortable. We became inseparable.”

“Gorgeous, Julia is, so charming and smart, and I never get enough of her talking. When you know, you know,” said Mr. Superstar High-Rise Built-In Sculpt in Cosmic Wash, according to Ms. Gallagher who is the only person who can hear him.

Know they did last Thursday, but not without the help of neighbors, all of whom sent cheers of revelries for the happy couple from their overlooking windows and terraces. One neighbor sang John Legend’s “All of Me” while another accompanied on ukulele. Ms. Gallagher, in a white silk blouse and a 15-foot Cathedral lace embroidered drop veil held in place by an heirloom diamond bandeau, made her way past several parked Prius, a Chevy Volt, and a Toyota Tacoma. She joined her beloved, draped over a kitchen chair, in the tandem parking space.

“The balconies are at least six feet apart,” Ms. Gallagher later noted, with a wink and a nod.

The bride’s cousin, Dr. Melanie Gallagher, 35, a clinical psychologist who is quarantining with the couple, officiated the ceremony. She wore a pink cashmere hoddie, whom she married last week. The bride’s best friend, Caitlyn Morris, attended remotely from an underground bunker somewhere in Colorado. The ceremony concluded when Ms. Gallagher easily pulled her beloved Superstar over her hips, smiling happily in soft, lightweight comfort.

The couple celebrated with a tray of petit-fours from the aforementioned local bakery and three bottles of Ruby Red Grapefruit Rose. The groom, whom Ms. Gallagher explained is a teetotaler, did not partake.

On October 18, the couple plan to celebrate their nuptials in a religious ceremony attended by 375 friends and family at the Cathedral Saint-Germain in a small village south of Paris. “I’m in this forever,” said Ms. Gallagher-High-Rise-Built-In-Sculpt-in-Cosmic-Wash. Lovingly, she patted her new husband, who gracefully sculpted her lower extremities to a shape not seen since the late-aughts. “Who would have thought it would take a pandemic to find my one true love?”

Katherine Butler is a writer who spent her formative years as a TV comedy writer in Hollywood, building a resume filled with story development and #metoo land mines. She also has cultivated a close, personal relationship with Joan Didion. Not really, but she did once see Dame Joan in Central Park and waved to her.

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