20 Things You Can Expect After Coming Out Of The Closet


-Your mother will begin to ask you how her outfits look

-Your straight friends will wonder if you are really done with girls

-After a couple of drinks, they will work up the courage to ask if you are a top or a bottom

-You won’t have to worry about closing out the gay porn tabs on your phone

-Even the ‘weird’ shit

-You will suddenly care about how tan you are

-You will suddenly want to move to LA 

-You will finally have permission to buy body wash that is not Old Spice

-You will feel like EDM music ‘speaks to you’

-Your taste in carbonated water flavors will become much more eclectic

-(I recommend pamplemousse)

-You will start having gay sex 

-You will want to retweet everything that Billy Eichner or Adam Rippon put out

-Your sister will send you instagram DMs of other gay men that you should ‘go for’

-The star quarterback from high school will unfriend you on Facebook 

-Your dad will wonder what your ex-girlfriends have to say about it 

-People will tell you whether or not they ‘knew it all along’ or simply ‘cannot believe it’

-You will begin to realize that watching all those ‘Will & Grace’ reruns during your teenage years was really just studying 

-Mike Pence will become your greatest nemesis 

-You will finally discover your truest, most authentic self 

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