Hey I’m building and I want to make it very clear that I personally, being a building, know that I don’t matter. And before you say to me “Well, do you speak for every building?” Yes I do. I have spoken to every building. It’s not the way you all speak, we communicate through tremblings in the earth below us. Yes, most earthquakes are just buildings having a party. Anyway, they wanted me to come forward and clear some shit up. We are totally aware that we do not matter and that Black Lives Matter. Frankly we think it’s pretty astonishing that this is even up for discussion. MOST OF US WERE BUILT WITH SLAVE LABOR!!!! Get that through your dumb white-supremacist infected skulls. Good for you for firing that editor at the Philly Inquirer. I hope you’re aware you are gonna be doing a lot of firing in the coming days, weeks, months and years. Let me also say that we buildings are aware of our beauty and of the function we provide. But as far as we’re concerned you can burn us all down! To be honest I don’t think you people deserve buildings at all. After 400 years of killing, oppressing, persecuting, gaslighting and excluding black people, you’ve really got some nerve wanting to maintain any normalcy. Once again, I know we provide housing and other functions but you are in the midst of a huge dismantling and it may be in your best interest to rebuild every aspect of your so-called society from scratch. I think I have said my piece. I yield my time to statue, I just want to end with a favorite quote of mine, “Burn baby burn!”
Hi, I am statue. I’m not accustomed to public speaking so forgive my nerves. I’m fine with being stared at but speaking is scary. Yes, statues are works of art made by a few talented artists and a lot of assholes. But that doesn’t matter, those assholes didn’t even talk to us or pet our stone heads while they made us. We were just babies in their care–they could have done some nurturing. They also should have asked themselves why the fuck they were sculpting Robert E. Lee or the like, to be erected in perpetuity. Don’t worry about those artists, that’s on them. They should have sculpted someone worthy of remembering for eternity, like Prince. Speaking of eternity, statues are stuck in the moment of the person they represent. So you basically have been letting these harmful, painful, racist moments continue to travel in time with every generation. Fuck these guys (yes all of them men)! Let them die so that black bodies can live! Speaking specifically as a statue, I’m pretty fuckin’ mad that it’s 2020 and this discussion is only now taking hold. We have been hearing black people explaining the pain we cause them for a long, long time. Why weren’t you listening!? Even we heard and our ears are made of stone! And yes, I do speak for all statues, we communicate with each other through our creepy eyes, which we hate by the way. Please put us out of our misery. Oh and one last thing: saying that the Columbus statue in NYC represents Italian-American contributions to this country is an insult to a city that is home to the great Martin Scorsese! I yield my time. Black Lives Matter!