Bad Ideas for White Protesters

Ginny Hogan and David Spector

  1. Wearing a shirt that reads, “I Renounce White Privilege.”
  2. Showing up at the protests only to “listen and learn.”
  3. Asking ahead of time if anyone knows the approximate step-count.
  4. Not bringing granola bars (what else are white people good for?).
  5. Asking around for the most trending hashtags.
  6. Forgetting sunscreen. You need it.
  7. Trying to get a hot guy’s number.
  8. Not wearing a mask because you want everyone to see the anger on your face.
  9. Spending the whole protest trying to “meet up with the girls.”
  10. Singing “Imagine.”
  11. Leaving the moment you see another person – because of “the Virus.”
  12. Talking about the revolutionary potential of your podcast.
  13. Saying it reminds you of Big Little Lies. No, it doesn’t.
  14. Declaring your juice bar an “Autonomous Zone” – you don’t know what an autonomous zone is.
  15. Asking if the people in your vicinity have been exposed to COVID recently.
  16. Waving to your cop uncle.
  17. Frasier is not “underrated,” and that’s not what we’re all here to talk about, so shut up.
  18. Asking if Tear Gas is gluten-free.
  19.  Talking about “Hot Yoga’s” power to fix all this.
  20.  Asserting we should turn the police into an app.
  21. Discussing how Infinite Jest radicalized you.
  22. Posting an empty black square but then not going to the protests.
  23. Holding a sign touting the benefits of the Keto diet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s