
1. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. Skills like this, whoops I touched your face. There! I touched it again. Ooops, one more time. Ha, and again with the face touch! Taken
2. I’m gonna steal the Declaration of Independence. And I’m gonna take a painting class and do that cross-country trip. Maybe join an improv group. I’m really gonna start living once everything reopens. National Treasure
3. You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention, Sweden. How goes the herd? Django Unchained
4. You’re gonna need a bigger boat. At least, I dunno, there are 3 of us so 3×6=18. So, yeah, you’re gonna need a boat that is at least 18′ bigger. Jaws
5. If anyone orders merlot, I’m leaving. I am not drinking any fucking merlot! Also, if anyone orders the spicy curry, I’m leaving. I’m not being quarantined with you people after that. Sideways
6. Now you’re in the sunken place. That valley in the sofa where you’ve been sitting for the past month? Yeah, that’s the sunken place. Get Out
7. Boy, that escalated quickly. Bats. Who knew? Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
8. Are you not entertained? Maybe a little? Because I’m completely out of ideas. We’ve watched all of Netflix and Amazon Prime. Gladiator
9. This is Sparta! That is Florida. Sparta is on lockdown for three weeks. Florida has 2-for-1 well drinks, all you can eat buffets, and a 24-hour kissing booth. 300
10. I drink your milkshake, I lick your cupcakes, and I double-dip into your guacamole yet still you insist on doing this in person? There Will be Blood
11. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. So, schmoopie, why don’t we put down the gun and do some burpees, okay honey? Legally Blond
12. Wilsoooooooon! Happy birthday, buddy! I’ll leave this bottle of wine on the doorstep. Caaaaaaaaaaaall me! Cast Away
13. I’m the king of the world, kids! And as you may not see another human being for months, I’m also your protector, guru, and god. Titanic
14. You shall not pass until you’ve walked through the corridor of sanitization. Lord of Rings — Fellowship of the Ring
15. I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. At least I did when I could still smell things. Apocalypse Now
16. You talking to me? No? What about you? You? Ok, which one of you masked knuckleheads is talking? Taxi Driver
17. I am gonna kill Bill and he won’t even know it’s happening until two weeks later when he starts developing symptoms. Kill Bill vol. 2
18. I volunteer as tribute. I’d volunteer for whatever you want as long as it gets me the hell out of this house. Hunger Games
19. A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A private island with your own food supply, satellite television, one of those premium Japanese bidets, and a walk-in closet of athleisure wear. That’s cool. The Social Network