New Streaming Platform Just Quick Bright Flashes On A Screen

Media mogul Johanssen Catz and veteran tech executive Amanda Daman are proud to announce the name of their new video streaming platform, “Quick Bright Flash On a Screen.”

Daman announced the service will be called Quick Bright Flash On a Screen, or QBFonaS for short. “Catz can’t stop saying the little name,” Daman said. “It just really rolls off the tongue”

Following the successes of short-length video platforms like Vine and TikTok, while ignoring the media train wreck of Quibi, Daman says this is just the logical next step for on-the-go mobile entertainment. “We know people want a distraction, but sometimes they need a distraction from that distraction. Quick Bright Flash On a Screen is our solution.”

“Quibi made the mistake of making entire episodes, minutes long. It was embarrassing to watch. Our studies showed us that people don’t want content, they want fun, light brainwashing,” said Daman. The mogul first met Catz when their mutual friend was passing out a communal Hulu password at a party.

The platform will boast tons of new genres, shows, and even things. The company has teased a few initial selections such as, “Place,” which follows a bright flash of just any place. There is also “Flash Image of Stewie from Family Guy” which features a one-syllable laugh from the iconic character. For kids, there’s “One Spanish Word” which just might teach them something, but not enough that you have to show interest.

Every episode, or “flash” as the producers have dubbed, is unique and under a second long. There are several original series in the works as well, like “Colors” which just shows a flash of a different color. Chrissy Teigen confirmed she had signed on already, with Ariana Grande rumored to be the soundtrack star. Chance the Rapper could not be reached for comment about his fourteen homemade commercials for the app.

Snapchat and Instagram have both vied for the top spot of mobile downloads, but children everywhere have already figured out how to exclude ages 20 and older from the app, so investors predict high popularity. “This is great,” said Daman in a press junket, “We never expected things to go this far.”

Daman and Catz also assure investors that the blindness reported from the app is only temporary. “That’s just QBFonaS!”

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