A lady’s guide to doomsday prepping

Amanda Gordon and May Stearman

1. Bag? Do you mean my A6 Falcon Expo Lite Ultra-Thin Military Cargo Waterproof Trek Warrior Knapsack?
2. Bose Ultra Soundproof Headphones. I would honestly rather a bear sneak up on me than listen to Jebediah mansplain how a Bushmaster Carbon 15 M4 Carbine works.
3. Hydration Serum. Did you think I was just going to not look dewy when I eat my neighbor’s leg for sustenance?
4. First Aid Kit. For Jebediah, when he breaks a nail.
5. Fixed Blade Knife to get the dirt out of my fingernails after wrestling a bear to the ground.
6.  A Billie razor to remove my own leg hair should my neighbor need substance. There’s still a pink tax in the apocalypse, that’s why I use Billie!
7. Map & compass for Jebediah when he can’t find my camp spot in the overgrown bush.
8. A bow saw, to get through the Beyond Burger packaging.
9.  Infinite Jest. To bore to death any trail foes.
10. A copy of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In as a reminder to own my seat at the campfire.