A lady’s guide to doomsday prepping
Amanda Gordon and May Stearman
- Bag? Do you mean my A6 Falcon Expo Lite Ultra-Thin Military Cargo Waterproof Trek Warrior Knapsack?
- Bose Ultra Soundproof Headphones. I would honestly rather a bear sneak up on me than listen to Jebediah mansplain how a Bushmaster Carbon 15 M4 Carbine works.
- Hydration Serum. Did you think I was just going to not look dewy when I eat my neighbor’s leg for sustenance?
- First Aid Kit. For Jebediah, when he breaks a nail.
- Fixed Blade Knife to get the dirt out of my fingernails after wrestling a bear to the ground.
- A Billie razor to remove my own leg hair should my neighbor need substance. There’s still a pink tax in the apocalypse, that’s why I use Billie!
- Map & compass for Jebediah when he can’t find my camp spot in the overgrown bush.
- A bow saw, to get through the Beyond Burger packaging.
- Infinite Jest. To bore to death any trail foes.
- A copy of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In as a reminder to own my seat at the campfire.