by Phil Witte
Libertarianism – Don’t touch my stuff.
Communism – All stuff belongs to the collective, but I know a guy who will sell you more stuff if you pay in U.S. dollars.
Socialism – We’ll share this stuff and you get six weeks vacation.
Democracy – Whoever receives the most votes gets to give the most stuff to whoever gave the most stuff to the top vote-getter.
Capitalism – I’ll rent you some of my stuff.
Oligarchy – All of this stuff is ours.
Kleptocracy – Your stuff is in a Swiss bank vault.
Bureaucracy – We lost your stuff.
Fascism – Your stuff disappeared and so will you.
Anarchy – Crush this stuff!
Colonialism – We’ll take this stuff from people over there who aren’t using it much anyway.
Monarchy – I am king of all stuff.
Despotism – I eat your stuff.
Plutocracy – Whoever has the most stuff wins.
Theocracy – God told us that this stuff is ours.