by Phil Witte

Libertarianism – Don’t touch my stuff.

Communism – All stuff belongs to the collective, but I know a guy who will sell you more stuff if you pay in U.S. dollars.

Socialism – We’ll share this stuff and you get six weeks vacation.

Democracy – Whoever receives the most votes gets to give the most stuff to whoever gave the most stuff to the top vote-getter.

Capitalism – I’ll rent you some of my stuff.

Oligarchy – All of this stuff is ours.

Kleptocracy – Your stuff is in a Swiss bank vault.

Bureaucracy – We lost your stuff.

Fascism – Your stuff disappeared and so will you.

Anarchy – Crush this stuff!

Colonialism – We’ll take this stuff from people over there who aren’t using it much anyway.

Monarchy – I am king of all stuff.

Despotism – I eat your stuff.

Plutocracy – Whoever has the most stuff wins.

Theocracy – God told us that this stuff is ours.