B.C. (before Corona)

January 6th, 2019 at 5:02 p.m.
“Soul monster” – David genuinely trying to explain a spirit animal

January 9th, 2019 at 2:31 p.m.
white boys retweet an AOC sound bite and write “GO OFF!!!” before masturbating to celebrate their “activism”

January 29th, 2019 at 11:20 a.m.
What to do when you’re horny at work

February 14th, 2019 at 10:23 p.m.
started free-bleeding at my hip-hop dance class. (Need new leggings)

March 6th, 2019 at 1:39 p.m.
look up flights to new orleans and buy more Gas-X

March 15th, 2019 at 4:43 p.m.
“There were all these starving little white men wearing like crop tops and drinking coffee at 9PM you would have jizzed” -Shoshana on the phone

April 22nd, 2019 at 5:16 p.m.
a bird pooped on me at the beach

April 30th, 2019 at 7:36 p.m.
“I’ll fuck any hot communist, you know?” -Sam on her new Tinder date

May 23rd, 2019 at 9:13 p.m.
i think Yogurtland is curing my depression

June 8th, 2019 at 9:47 a.m.
ok i’m sorry but imagine RUNNING FOR OFFICE. IMAGINE RUNNING

June 29th, 2019 at 3:21 p.m.
“What’s the expression? Oblivion is success?” -Dorrin (talking about “ignorance is bliss”)

July 1st, 2019 at 2:20 p.m.
men be like i’m not white i’m Irish

October 14th, 2019 at 6:03 p.m.
the Yogurtland didn’t cure my depression

November 16th, 2019 at 8:19 p.m.
my type in girls is all of them

February 28, 2020 at 5:42 p.m.
i wish it wasn’t weird to just like knock on random people’s houses and say hi and meet them

March 3rd, 2020 at 8:08 a.m.
not depressed anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! call therapist 

A.C. (after Corona)

April 15th, 2020 at 12:32 p.m.
lol nevermind

June 27th, 2020 at 4:13 p.m.
Ask dad for money

July 2nd, 2020 at 2:56 p.m.
Maybe run for office…?

July 12th, 2020 at 10:45 a.m.
Research grad school programs